This Massive List Of New Year's Resolutions Makes The Most Overwhelming Statement About Self-Improvement We've Seen Yet — PHOTO

It's the end of January now, and yes, we have all failed epically at some of our New Year's resolutions. All aboard the guilt trip express! I'd like to say that I ditched making resolutions anyway because I'm ~flawless~ and no part of me needs to change, but the truth is I am not Beyoncé. I am a mere mortal, and even though half of the resolutions I made were dumb and probably not at all meaningful to improving the large scope of my human life, I made them anyway—and promptly failed at all of them. But the the good news is that it's not too late to do something awesome with 2015, if you make any of the incredibly worthwhile changes on this extremely long list of New Year's resolutions.

On this list are all of the things that will actually make your life easier. No feat is too small, too large, or too ridiculous. Yes, this list will make your head spin. Yes, this list will remind you that you are a terrible person on a daily basis and so are most people around you. Yes, this list will also remind you that you aren't any worth than anyone else and you should probably be more gentle and forgiving with yourself. But most importantly, this list will make you laugh at how we are all so absurdly different that this list of contradicting resolutions is really just cracking the surface of the diversity of the human experience.

Among the ones on this list that I am definitely incorporating into my 2015 immediately:

  1. Settling a dispute with Comcast
  2. Watch the same TV show again
  3. Embrace the gray area
  4. Admit defeat online to a stranger (aka, THE HARDEST THING A HUMAN CAN EVER DO)

I promise you that no matter who you are, where you are, nor what existential condition you are in right now, you will be able to read this goliath of a list and find some reflection of yourself in it. Go ahead and read it. Or don't read it. You'll learn pretty fast from reading this that what is good for one person doesn't have to be good for everyone else:

Images: Anthony Quintano/Flickr, TravisBroyles/Twitter