I've been a longstanding Valentine's Day hater. Now, I know what you're thinking, "Oh, it must be because she's never had a Valentine." Wrong-o, friends, I have, and I hated it just the same. Maybe hate is too strong a word. I simply dislike the holiday because, well, there are so many other awesome things that usually go on in the month of February that has nothing to do with sappiness or naked babies armed with arrows. For instance, there’s Groundhog’s day, which obviously honors the greatness that is Bill Murray. There’s President’s week, and some incredibly lucky people get off of work and/or school for that. And, most importantly, there are a slew of awards shows to indulge in, namely, the Grammys. So, why spend your time waiting on an obscenely long Duane Read line, box of chocolates that are about as clear as the Marauder’s map in hand, when you can just hang out with celebs on TV and see them win awards and sing?
I know, you’re re-thinking everything now. Well, good, that’s exactly what I want you to do. Because there are so many more reasons why you should celebrate Grammys night rather than the nuisance of a holiday that is Valentine’s Day.
First and foremost, you can spend Grammys night in your jammies with your butt parked on your couch
No heels? No problem.
Because you're expected to stay in and watch
Any event that offers cushioning and comfort to my behind is a hallowed day to me.
You can be serenaded by multiple people with actual talent
Not that dude from Tinder you've seen a few times who poses with a guitar and can strum a few chords of John Mayer's "Your Body is a Wonderland."
You can have the snack of your own choosing
Not a wasteful box of chocolates that you pick around only to get to the coconut ones, anyway.
WINE. Lots of it.
Yeah, I guess you can drink wine on Valentine's Day but isn't it better when you can drink it straight from the bottle without judgement?
You can just change the channel if things get weird.
There's no clicker for real life, friends. You're stuck in that booth watching that adult human pick their teeth with a straw all night.
On Grammys night, the world is your date
Your girlfriends on your couch right beside you, Justin Timberlake, Beyoncé, live tweeters. We are all in love for three hours on an arbitrary Sunday once a year.
And it's beautiful.
And, at least you've come to expect disappointment from The Grammys
Unlike your significant other, who you've stupidly held to some sort of a standard that they've completely failed to meet.
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