Life

The Best Thing to Happen to Cheeseburgers Ever

Very important news for Sriracha fans this morning: Heinz Sriracha Ketchup is now a reality. This is not a drill. You can now smother all your favorite foods with tangy, spicy deliciousness. Is this the best thing ever to happen to the already-magnificent cheeseburger? Maybe. Juuuuuust maybe.

According to the Associated Press, Heinz's new chili-spiced condiment will hit shelves this month. Said Heinz Tomato Ketchup Brand Manager Joseph Giallanella in a release, “We are thrilled to announce that Heinz Tomato Ketchup Blended with Sriracha Flavor will join the beloved Heinz Ketchup portfolio.” Sure, the official name is kind of long and unwieldy, but who cares? Sriracha ketchup, you guys. Giallanella continued, “Building off of our successful line of flavored ketchups, fans told us that they would love another bold take on their favorite condiment.” Thanks for listening, Heinz!

It's true that Sriracha ketchup isn't exactly difficult to make yourself; I've done it myself from time to time, and it's literally as simple as squirting a dash of each in a bowl and mixing it all together. But you know what? Sometimes, you just don't want to have to deal with having to pull out a knife in order to spread it on your burger. Nothing beats the ease of being able to squeeze it out all in one go — and now, even the laziest condiment enthusiasts of us all can indulge in this glorious, glorious creation.

Although this isn't the first time Heinz has ventured into the world of spicy ketchups — Heinz plus Tabasco also exists, for example — this is the first time I've actually been excited about it. I'm just not into Tabasco… but Sriracha? In case it hasn't already become obvious from the many, many times I've written about it in the past, I adore it. It's also worth noting that Heinz isn't even the first company to have combined the two condiments into one incredible sauce; Sosu's Srirachup made its way onto our radar back in 2014. But Heinz's version will be both more easily acquired and quite a bit more affordable: It will be available at places like Walmart and Target, and it'll cost around $2.69 a bottle. Definitely something to celebrate, no?

I am planning on putting it on everything, of course, including, but not limited to, the following options:

1. Burgers

Duh.

2. Chicken Fingers

Although much has been made of the tyranny of the chicken finger, homemade ones — the kind made with chicken breasts or tenders, rolled in panko crumbs and baked until crispy — are kind of the best. You can make them as adventurous as you want, and in my world, that includes Sriracha ketchup. Heck yes.

3. Omelets

Or scrambled eggs. Either/or. Preferably with lots of cheese and bacon on the side.

4. Grilled Cheese

I'm not usually a big ketchup-on-grilled-cheese fan, but I think I'd be willing to make an exception this time.

5. Meatloaf

I'm not a big meatloaf fan, either, mostly because I feel like the words “meat” and “loaf” should never go together. However, I would imagine that even I, meatloaf hater that I am, might find it palatable with the addition of Sriacha ketchup.

6. This Chicken Yakisoba Recipe

There's already both ketchup and Sriracha involved in the sauce that goes on this wonderful noodle dish — but just think how much better it would be with Sriracha and Sriracha ketchup. Double your Sriracha, double your fun.

7. Everything and Anything Involving Potatoes

Baked potatoes. Roasted potatoes. French fries. Potato chips, even. The list goes on.

Images: Heinz Ketchup/Facebook; Giphy (5)