Everyone remembers where they were when Kanye West interrupted Taylor Swift at the VMAs. I was in my freshmen year dorm when Sarah Fitzgerald ran in and said, "Oh my god, you won't believe what Kanye West did to Taylor Swift" and I, with my all-black clothing and Bettie Page bangs, gave a very emphatic, "Who?" In any case, it's only my assumption that, years from now, we'll all remember the day when it was announced Kanye and Taylor Swift would be "going into the studio together."
Yes, you heard me correctly. During an interview with Ryan Seacrest, Kanye announced that, in some capacity, him and Taylor would be joining forces. Indeed, this is our generation's version of the fall of the Berlin wall. But this new mind-boggling development is leaving us with some burning questions such as: why? And also, why? And more importantly, why?
There are some other questions that I'm sure you have brewing in your mind, and I've collected the things that we're wondering and speculating the hardest. I'm hoping it's only a matter of time before these get answered. Until then, join me as we ask these important things about the upcoming Kanye and Taylor project.
1. So are they like, friends now?
Swift has a history of turning feuds into friendships (Katy Perry aside), so is this another strategic smothering where she forces another person to love her? Is Kanye going to become an official male member of her all-star girl posse, or is Ed Sheeran getting lonely and she wanted to bring in some company for him? All of these possibilities are valid, I think.
2. Okay, if so, when did they become friends?
Was it at this years Grammys, after being photographed together? Or did they meet up at some point to hug it out? Did Kanye go over Swift's place for tea and pizza? Or did Swift go over to Kanye's place for champagne and gold-plated toilet seats?
3. Will they be recording be a cover?
Is "Ebony and Ivory" too outdated and weird? Because I feel like yes.
4. Or will it be an original song?
We're already conceiving the titles if so. "I'mma Let You Finish" seems to be an office favorite.
5. Will Taylor rap in the middle?
If she doesn't, I'm not interested.
6. Could it possibly be an entire collaborative album?
Kanye's a go-big-or-go-home kind of guy, so this wouldn't be impossible.
7. Could it possibly be an entire collaborative concept album?
Nothing fancy. Like any concept album, it would feature casual Jesus metaphors with Kanye as a God of music and Swift as a fragile princess that he injures and their battle for power over 500 years. I'd buy it. You'd buy it. Let's move on.
8. What will the potential music videos be like?
How many glorious outfits? How many flashing lights? How much of a retro-throwback vibe? WHERE WILL THEY FIT IN KIM KARDASHIAN?
9. More importantly, is Beyoncé in any way involved?
She's somehow been in the middle of this feud; it only seems fair that she shows up for the bridge.
10. When will all of this be out?
Will they perform it together at the next VMAs? It will either be glorious or the most awkward thing of all time.
11. What if this is all a mislead and they're really producing a MOVIE together?
You know, going into a movie studio to produce a story to better illustrate their collaborative concept album. With Kanye as Kanye. Taylor Swift as Taylor Swift. Until halfway through, when Kanye thinks he can do a better job and plays Swift. So, basically, Kanye as all the characters.
12. How much of this is about publicity?
I'm not saying that they're not genuinely cool with each other or anything. I'm just saying let's be realistic about how the music industry works.
13. And most importantly, WHY?
As intriguing as it is, was anyone really sitting here and wondering, "You know what I could really use right now? A Kanye West and Taylor Swift collaboration."
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