'The Voice' Season 5 Recap: The Chairs Are Rebelling

We're in week three of The Voice, and boy are my arms tired! Wait, don't go. I promise I will never let that happen again. Monday night's episode began with eight remaining slots, which can only mean we're that much closer to finding out who wins a trip to outer space. Oops, wrong Mark Burnett show! Christina Aguilera, Adam Levine, Cee Lo Green, Blake Shelton, Carson Daly, and I (don't you tell me I'm not a part of the show) were REVVED UP for the final night of Blind Auditions.

The highlights of the night:

  • Matt Cermanski's "Have A Little Faith In Me" was pretty, he landed a spot on Team Adam, blah blah blah. But Matt has a sordid past: Last season, he auditioned with "Teenage Dream." It was a series low point. Carson, in a total jerk/genius move, cornered Matt in the Starbucks Holding Cell and played a video of the old, brutal (sorry, Matt!) performance. Way to mess with the guy before his second audition, Carson. I like your style.
  • Tamara Chauniece, daughter of ministers, blessed (sorry, I couldn't help myself) our ears with "1+1." It didn't stay true to Beyonce's record, but Tamara's modified version showcased her deep, rich voice. Cee Lo and Xtina hit their buttons, but Cee Lo would not lose this round. After telling Tamara he's a son-of-ministers-turned-sinner, Tamara laughed, "Come to Jesus!" Cee Lo, not missing a beat, responded, "Jesus look good." Tamara and Cee Lo had such wonderful banter, so it wasn't a twist when she chose him.
  • Blake and Cee Lo duked it out over country singer Brandon Chase. Despite Cee Lo's promise to bring "flair and fabulosity" to his performances, Brandon chose Blake. Sorry, Cee Lo, but I assume anyone who auditions with the nice-but-bland song "Wanted" is neither ready for flair nor fabulosity in his life. One day, perhaps, but today is not that day.
  • Grey's rendition of "Catch My Breath" inspired Adam, Cee Lo, and Blake to spin around. In a shocking turn (again, couldn't resist) of events, Blake's chair malfunctioned post-performance. Before anyone could save him, his chair turned again and he was stuck facing the audience. Apparently, Halloween came early this year, because that tech snafu was SCARY. A production assistant fixed the chair and everyone felt safe enough to go on with the show. We'll never know if Blake's rebellious robo-chair influenced her choice, but Grey joined Adam's team.
  • After Michael Lynch chose coach Xtina, the two danced and sang audition song "Bailamos" together. Xtina wailed and harmonized magnificently with Michael, and I screamed, "THIS IS WHY WE WATCH TELEVISION!"
  • Cee Lo and Blake sparred yet again over another country artist. Cee Lo equated experimentation in music to medical research, and I was like, "Come on, Brian Pounds! Cure something with Cee Lo!" Sadly, my pleas fell on deaf ears, because Brian picked Blake. So much for science.

We also met Team Cee Lo additions Iraq War veteran Shawn Smith and gritty folk singer Lupe Carroll. And with that, the Blind Auditions ended. I'll miss those spinning chairs, no matter how possessed by demonic robots they may be. Battle Rounds, let's boogie.

Photo: Trae Patton/NBC