'The Voice' Season 5 Recap: Kaley Cuoco Isn't The Only Talented Cuoco

Monday night's episode of The Voice brought us the covetable eyeshadow of Christina Aguilera, Blake Shelton and his three The Voice trophies, Cee Lo Green's so calm, so chill button press move, and Adam Levine's beard and arms. We also had the pleasure of meeting (I like to think I'm there and a part of it all) Kaley Cuoco's younger sister, Briana Cuoco. Oh, and people sang, coaches hit the chair buttons, the chairs spun… you know the drill. Just another night in the trenches.

The highlights of the night:

  • Blake nearly did me in when he described Ray Boureaux's voice as "swampy." What a gross compliment, Shelton. But I can support it. Ray went with Blake, because "swampy."
  • Honest to Abe, I loved Lina Gaudenzi's rendition of "Landslide." Also, it should be noted, she's crazy beautiful. She was a preteen model, her mom was a model, so like, I'm totally breaking new ground with this observation. She looks like a combination of Greta Gerwig and Alessandra Ambrosio. Her voice sounded rich and full, and then she'd hit us with this gorgeous vibrato and I couldn't find my remote because I threw it out the window. Lina ended up choosing Team Xtina.
  • Preston Pohl's "Electric Feel" was weird, funky, and cool. His stage presence was on point, and while the MGMT song was not an obvious choice for his raspy voice, it WORKED. Like, he nailed it. The three sausages turned their chairs, Cee Lo put up a valiant effort, but Adam was the coach for Preston.
  • Timyra-Joi is 15 and unreal. She's a wickedly talented singer, super pretty, and has a vocal coach who boasts a lion's mane. I want to be Timyra-Joi. She sang "Girl On Fire" because she knew that song cuts me to my core when done right, and guess what? She did it right. You say, "a young female vocalist with powerful pipes beyond her years" and I hear, "Christina Aguilera." I know what I'm doing; Timyra-Joi chose Xtina.
  • Briana Cuoco, the younger sister/dog-walker of The Big Bang Theory star, performed "You and I." Watching celebrities interact with family members is my favorite thing because, like magic, they become normal people. Talented, wildly successful, normal people. Initially, Briana sounded really nervous and shaky, but once she got into the chorus, her voice was immensely powerful. Briana can BELT! I'm so glad. Kaley's enthusiasm for her little sis was contagious, and I only wanted the best for her. Xtina and Cee Lo turned, Kaley and their parents freaked out backstage, and Briana went with Xtina.
  • Teen cool kid Juhi said she wants to be a cross between Amy Winehouse and Kurt Cobain, and Grandma Kristie over here immediately felt a tidal wave of sadness and anxiety. Stay good, Juhi. Stay good. Hopefully, coach Cee Lo will mentor her in the right direction.

Not to be hyperbolic, but this season is off to a hot-diggity-dog of a start. Everyone is so taaaaalentedddd! Admittedly, I do miss Shakira and Usher, but I can't get enough of self-proclaimed "cheerleader" Xtina. Tuesday, let's do this!

Photo: Tyler Golden/NBC Universal