Abusive Parents Try to Bully Their Way Into A Wedding Invitation, What They Got Instead Was Epic
When two people get married, the bride and groom's parents are typically an integral part of the big day (the father walking the bride down the aisle, the father-daughter dance, etc.) — but what do you do if the people who brought you into this world, well, kind of suck? Imgur user Skitzocat dealt with this very issue, and rather than trying to grin and bear it during the ceremony and reception, they shut down their crappy parents in the most epic way possible. I'd recommend getting some ice handy, because you're about to encounter a serious burn.
"So my narcissistic parents abused me for 16 years before I ran away from home. Now they're trying to bully their way into my wedding (via family, they haven't bothered to speak to me personally) into getting an invitation to my wedding."
This is definitely a dilemma — on the one hand, there's a chance that if the couple caves and invites the parents, they'll cause a whole bunch of drama at the wedding. On the other hand, if they don't get an invite, the bride and groom may never hear the end of it. So how do you go about telling your parents they aren't welcome at your wedding? If treating matters delicately isn't your thing, you might take a page out of Skitzocat's playbook. Warning: this is not for the faint of heart.
Petty? Maybe. Legendary? You bet.
Obviously, this method isn't for everybody. If, like this brave Imgur user, you don't want to invite certain close family members (whether they spawned you or otherwise) to your wedding, here are some tips for handling it a bit more, uh, politely, here are some tips.
1. Be honest and firm
While you don't need to send out a "we're having a party and you're not invited" memo (although apparently that was a trend not too long ago), if a family member hears about the wedding and senses they're not welcome, you should handle it in a firm and direct manner. Putting it off or trying to blame outside factors is only going to hurt you in the long run. If you're not the confrontational type, Offbeat Bride has great tips on what to say to get your point across in the most straightforward way possible.
2. Don't cave to other family members
Once you've made your decision, stick to it. Slate's Emily Yoffe (aka Dear Prudence) explains: "Loved ones and friends... often speak as if forgiveness will be a psychic aloe vera, a balm that will heal the wounds of the past" but don't consider that inviting this person could bring up painful memories and may cause more issues in the long run (especially if you don't enjoy your wedding because of someone's unwanted presence). They might mean well, but at the end of the day it's your choice.
3. Focus on the people you did invite
As Kim Fusaro from Glamour put it, "once you've had...these conversations, if you're firm and straightforward with it, they can't really argue with you." After you've had the initial talk and stood your ground, there's not much else you can do except move forward and enjoy the day with the people you actually did invite. Yay, weddings!