If the National Academy of Recording Arts & Sciences handed out a Grammy For Best Misheard Lyric of The Year, Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space” would’ve scooped that award right on up. No contest. Nothing can compete with “Got a long list of ex-lovers”/“All the lonely Starbucks lovers”. For a moment there, we truly thought T. Swift was crooning about lonely people slugging down macchiatos while curled up in armchairs at Starbucks locations around the world. And what a beautiful moment it was.
Here's the thing: I'm fairly certain this lyric was an intentional move on T. Swift's part. I think she wants us to hear "lonely Starbucks lovers". Why? Because the lonely Starbucks lover is a recurring theme throughout her music. And she wanted to drop a hint. SHE WANTED TO DROP A HINT, I SAY!
You still with me? Wonderful. Ready to take a look at all of the T. Swift lyrics that I'm 99.9% sure allude to lonely Starbucks lovers? WONDERFUL. Let's do this.
Lyric: I was reminiscing just the other day/While having coffee all alone and Lord, it took me awaySong: “Holy Ground”The Starbucksloverian Interpretation: Uh, she literally sings about having coffee all alone. A lonely lover of Starbucks coffee.
Lyric: All I know since yesterday is everything has changedSong: "Everything Has Changed"The Starbucksloverian Interpretation: Swift may or may not have been inspired to pen this line upon finding out Starbucks would be switching their classic pastries to La Boulange pastries.
Lyric: But when the sun came up, I was lookin' at you/Remember when we couldn't take the heat/I walked out and said, "I'm settin' you free"/But the monsters turned out to be just treesSong: “Out Of The Woods”The Starbucksloverian Interpretation: She wakes up and needs coffee but the coffee is too hot to drink and too hot for the non-Starbucks cup. Neither she nor the non-Starbucks cup can take the heat of the coffee. So, she dumps out the coffee into the sink, i.e., sets it free. And then, she realizes she's hallucinating because she hasn't had any caffeine.
Lyric: It feels like one of those nights/We won't be sleepingSong: “22”The Starbucksloverian Interpretation: TOO MANY FRAPPUCCINOS!!!!!!! TOO MUCH SUGAR!!!!! TOO MUCH CAFFEINE!!!!!! CAN'T SLEEP!!!!!!!
Lyric: But loving him was red/Loving him was red
Song: “Red”The Starbucksloverian Interpretation: The "him" in this song is a Starbucks holiday cup.
Lyric: It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you/Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mineSong: "Back To December"The Starbucksloverian Interpretation: Sure, the holiday season can be overwhelming, but it is always a let down when the Starbucks red cups are no more.
Lyric: The lights are so bright/But they never blind meSong: “Welcome To New York”The Starbucksloverian Interpretation: On first glance, this appears to be about the lights of New York City. But it could very well be a reference to the overhead light fixtures inside Starbucks cafés.
Lyric: I bet this time of night you're still up/I bet you're tired from a long hard week
Song: “I Almost Do”The Starbucksloverian Interpretation: She may or may not be singing about someone who drank too much Starbucks and cannot fall asleep, despite how exhausted the person happens to be.
Lyric: You made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter/You are the best thing that’s ever been mineSong: "Mine"The Starbucksloverian Interpretation: I think this is about a Starbucks latte with whipped cream. *~ReBeL~*
Lyric: You always knew how to push my buttons/You give me everything and nothingSong: “I Wish You Would”The Starbucksloverian Interpretation: Swift probably wrote this from the perspective of a Starbucks espresso machine.
Lyric: Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
Song: “Shake It Off” The Starbucksloverian Interpretation: Obviously, this line is about the caffeine jitters.
Next time you listen to Red or 1989, keep your ears peeled. The lonely Starbucks lovers are everywhere.