So I know what you're thinking: there was a severe lack of Jennifer Lawrence at Sunday night's Academy Awards. Sadly J. Law was in very few non-Hunger Games films this year, and, subsequently, didn't get the chance to charm the small screen like she did at the previous two Oscars. However, we were not deprived one tiny J. Law antic: Sunday night, on the red carpet, co-star Josh Hutcherson revealed that J. Law stole his phone and downloaded her single "Hanging Tree" onto it. The thing is, I'm surprised she stopped there.
Well, as far as we know, anyway. It's very plausible that there are other more cringe-worthy additions to Hutcherson's phone. But what? Would she be downloading things left and right? How many prank calls would she make? Of course she's going to order food, but how much? We don't know, but we can certainly guess. Take my hand, and let's visualize the possibilities together.
Breathe deep and imagine going to the Oscars with your imaginary BFF J. Law and deciding to take a quick bathroom break. I'm guessing within the two to five minutes you're occupied, complete chaos will have taken over your phone.
Because if you leave your phone alone with J. Law...
She'll download the Domino's app and order pizza for your row
Oh my god, she's STARVING right now.
Then she'd have to call up Ellen to see if she wants to come over for any
"Yo girl, where you at? Do you remember the Oscars? I'm there right now with a cool few people. Do you want to come over?"
She'll post six Snapchat stories of different ridiculous faces.
One wasn't anywhere near enough.
She'll awkwardly flirt with an inappropriate spectrum of people in your contacts
Everyone from "Blake — Blonde Hottie at Pinkerton's" to "Aunt Sheryl." No shame. Zero shame. The winky emojis are being sent out with zero restraint.
She'll compose flattering Facebook status about herself
"At the Oscars with my hilarious BFF J. Law, who smells of fresh cut daffodils and has hair like spun gold."
She'll accidentally open Siri and decide to ask why her pizza is taking so long.
It's been two minutes. This is unacceptable.
Let's be honest, she'll probably also drop your phone two times minimum
She has many wonderful qualities, but she's never really been known for her grace and seamless coordination.
She'll get bored and play Angry Birds for a little bit
Though she is not coordinated, she is excellent at extinguishing green piggies.
She'll obviously make your lock screen Katniss Everdeen
So you never forget who's boss.
And she'll probably make your background screen Spongebob Squarepants
I mean, I don't know that J. Law loves Spongebob as a fact, but, in my mind, she's a big fan.
She'll use the camera to see if she has any pizza stuck in her teeth
Nope, flawless as ever.
But she won't look through any pictures, because J. Law, bless her, understands the sanctity of privacy
I mean, there are boundaries.
Images: Giphy (5)