'Bachelor' Wine Pairings For Every Type Of Episode, Because This Show Is So Much Better With Alcohol

This season of The Bachelor has been... something. And if you've managed to get through it without a glass of wine, or at least the thought "I need to get myself a glass of wine," then you're a much better person than me. With each new episode of The Bachelor I've wondered if this is just one long season of Punk'd and Ashton Kutcher is going to jump out and say "GOTCHA," because some of the things that have happened are so WTF that it's hard to believe they're even "reality." For many, this show is the perfect show to watch with a group of friends, or a partner, enjoy the perfect wine pairing to dish about who on The Bachelor is going to walk away with the final rose. 

Look, if these women and Chris are going to imbibe, I say it's only fair that the strong and willing viewers get to enjoy a glass of vino or two during the season as well. But that doesn't mean we should all be pouring the same old glass of Pinot Grigio each time Chris Harrison promises the most dramatic rose ceremony. In fact, there's a perfect wine paired for each crazy episode of the Bachelor, and I've created your go-to guide combining fine wine and Bachelor episodes, because there is absolutely no reason the two things should be kept separate. 

The Limo Episode

Type of wine: Riesling

Why: The limousine episode is famously drawn out. Because of that, you're going to want to pace yourself with a wine of the lighter variety. Riesling is probably your best bet for the longevity of the night, with notes of fruit. It's one of the lighter bodied wines — often sweet — and should work well for an overly extended limo reveal episode. 

Pair it with: Dessert, obv  

Regular Episode

Type of wine: Pinot Grigio 

Why: Pinot Grigio is light, crisp, and dry. It's the "average episode" wine. It's going to pair well with your very regular day (come home from work, make dinner, watch Bachelor) perfectly. 

Pair it with: Chicken or light fish — keep it basic. 

Two-on-One Date Episode

Type of wine: Cabernet Sauvignon 

Why: Cab Sauv is a powerful wine, as is the two-on-one date episode (game changer, right?). The two-on-one is an episode that is always a production. The two that usually go on the two-on-one are usually either two favorites or two non-favorites, and you're going to not take this huge episode lightly. Cab Sauv is a lot of wine — note: for those who are shy with wines — due to its notable tannins and full-bodied. 

Pair it with: Red meat, like a steak or lamb. Like I said this is a big production of an episode — treat it as such. 

Hometown Date Episode

Type of wine: Chardonnay 

Why: Chardonnay is probably the most popular wine out there, and in the hometown dates, you always want to be the "popular" one. There are three "styles" of Chardonnay (as with most wines), you can pick up a crisp, oaky, or elegant Chardonnay. If you're going for a two-buck chuck wine, it's probably going to be on the crisper end — hey, those are the best types sometimes — while a more expensive Chardonnay will probably have more oak notes. The every changing nature of the hometown dates calls for a wine that is lighter — can't get too bogged down on the red wine emotions — and also pairs so well with the best food group out there... carbs. 

Pair it with: Pasta — with veggies or cream sauce. 

Fantasy Suite Episode

Type of wine: Pinot Noir 

Why: It's sexy, duh. Pinot Noir is known to be "sensual and seductive" and I can't really imagine a more "sensual and seductive" episode like fantasy suites (maybe Carly's bizarre one-on-one sex guru date). 

Pair it withSalmon, duck, pork tenderloin, and roasted vegetables. 

Women Tell All Episode

Type of wine: Tequila.

After the Final Rose Episode

Type of wine: Champagne 

Why: You're celebrating! What would you celebrate with besides champs? 

Pair it with: Cheeses (again, this is a celebration!)

Images: Richard Carlson/ABC; Barefoot WineBachelorABC, Giphy (6) 

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