It's finally March, which means Spring Break is so close you can practically taste it. At this point in the semester, nobody can blame you for being 100% done. (Honestly, the sky has no business being such a jerk about all the ice and snow it's been spitting out over the last few weeks.) Anyone who is living in a place that is remotely cold can relate to the impossible struggle of even motivating yourself to trek outside to get to class, let alone actually studying for midterms or attending office hours, because it is clear that Poseidon has waged war on the unsuspecting collegiate masses.
If you are reading this right now, I am proud of you for surviving the last few months. You are champions of perseverance. I personally am so wimpy about the cold that I took my bed's comforter with me to the shower this morning so I wouldn't have to be exposed for more than a second. You probably have a lot on your plate right now, what with studying and making travel plans and cursing the hole the groundhog popped out of, but forge on, for there is a light at the end of the tunnel. That light might be the warm sun of a Spring Break vacation destination, or it might be the glow of pure, unadulterated Netflix on your laptop. Spring Break is "you" time, and you deserve every second of it. Don't taint the magic by worrying about any of the following:
What you smell like
Anybody who changes out of their sweatpants and/or bathing suit during this blessed week is, quite frankly, a disappointment to the entire human race.
How many times Netflix asks if you're "still watching"
Listen. Let's safely assume, Netflix, that unless we are dead, we are watching. Do you only have that there because every 3 hours you are secretly hoping we are dead? Seriously, this week is about you. Don't let Netflix wreck it by shading your greatness.
Anything that is not happening within five feet of you
Too far too reach = not your problem anymore.
Your mid-semester grades
You know what's not going to raise your grade? Crying about them. Give yourself a breather, because you totally earned it, and if you take this time to relax you'll be that much better able to rally when break is over.
What everybody else is doing for Spring Break
Don't give yourself Spring Break FOMO by scrolling up and down Facebook looking at all the terrible (beautiful, warm, tan, happy) people in Cancun. As long as there is cheese where you are, you can have a jolly time.
The calorie content of literally anything
Calories don't count on Spring Break. I read it somewhere. (And by "somewhere" I mean "my diary".)
Feeling obligated to hang out with your friends
There is always the obligatory EVERYBODY'S HOME SO LET'S GET DRUNK reunion, but sometimes you just plain don't. want. to get up. And there's no shame in that. You are super tired and deserve to not have to shower for other people. You'll see them all in a few weeks anyway.
Your REM cycle
Look, it's Spring Break. If you're not accidentally sleeping in until 2PM and staying up until dawn then you're probably not doing it right. Give up on trying to maintain any semblance of a healthy sleep cycle. Maybe you'll get lucky and come so full circle with those 24 hours that you end up back on a normal schedule again. Who knows! It's Spring Break—crazier things have happened!
Reverting to your middle school self
Just let it happen. Don't waste time feeling conflicted about it. Turn on your Tamagotchi, eat exclusively Goldfish crackers for three meals a day, and soak in the immature bliss.
Unless you're running around a foreign town with friends, dancing at 3AM, or hiking up a waterfall, there should be nothing but glorious laziness involved with your Spring Break. Moving from the couch to the fridge during Spring Break is a triumph. Unless you're the adventurous sort (what is your life, truly) who is off...adventuring during this hiatus from the bonds of academia, nobody should expect anything more.
If you wanna do it, that's fine. If you don't, that's even more fine (nobody has any business assigning it this week anyway). But whatever you do, don't stress out over it.
What "so and so," your mom's favorite friend of yours with the great hair and greater GPA, is up to
Spoiler alert: Most likely attending some sort of seminar for Super Smart Motivated People in an Impressively Large City and live tweeting about it. There. Now you know and you don't have to bother discussing it at length.
What other people think of how much/how little you go out
If you like to go hard, go hard. If you like to wear pajamas, wear your damn pajamas. Anybody who is casting judgment on how schwasted or un-schwasted you got last night is a person who clearly isn't living their full life.
Any and all of your inboxes
Texts, e-mails, archaic "pokes" on Facebook—it can all wait until next week. Except for the Facebook pokes. Those can wait literally forever.
Being productive in any way possible
Real talk: Spring Break is a privilege, not a right, and you don't get to have one forever. Do not dishonor Spring Break by attempting to be useful during it. You and Spring Break both deserve more than that. Embrace what might be one of the last opportunities in your human life to sit on your ass and do literally nothing for as long as you can possibly take it.
The ever nearer, persistently looming future
School has you whipped pretty much every waking minute of your life, and it's usually during Spring Break that your brain finally takes a deep breath—and exhales COMPLETE MORTAL PANIC. Yes, the future is scary and uncertain, but you don't need a 300-step battle plan this instant. This instant you probably just need a nap.
Images: A24; Giphy (9)