In the latest quest to keep up with the Kardashians, even the peripheral ones, Brittany Forster found out the hard way that lip plumpers really suck. (Hey, that's actually what they do; that was not a judgment.) Forster really wanted to get the famous Kylie Jenner pout, and bought a CandyLipz lip enhancer online. Of course, because in 2015 nothing actually happened unless it happened on video, we have the entire, painful process documented frame-by-frame. Yes, it's about as effective as you would imagine: She applies the Candy Lipz...sucker thing? (not even sure what to call that device) to her face, a process which includes a lovely, high-pitched slurping sound that could not have been indicative of anything that felt good. Incidentally, you can't actually buy CandyLipz online right now—Forster's video drove so much traffic to their site that it crashed.
There are, however, other ways to get the Kylie Jenner lip look, including a much-safer lip liner technique. You could try Kylie's latest hair color maybe, or (if you really don't care about possibly offending people) even make a go at wearing the grill Kylie wore to New York Fashion Week. There are so many ways to look like Kylie without buying a random suction device on the internet that, honestly, the whole lip-sucking thing hardly seems worth it.
When you watch the video, you can readily see that, almost right away, Forster realizes that something has gone very wrong in her quest for a more voluminous kisser. Her friends can be heard in the background alternately laughing and reassuring her that her lips will eventually "go down" while she runs around in near-hysteria. I mean, not blaming her:
Come on, look at this thing. I don't even know what to call it. A sucker? A vacuum? A plumper?
Do we really think someone from the mega-rich Jenner-Kardashian clan, with all their access to more legit cosmetic enhancement tools, would use something this basic on their face?
So, we are to believe that despite Jenner's claims she just makes a pouty face, and forgetting that rich people have access to collagen injections and other treatments us mortals can only dream of, that Kylie Jenner sticks this suction device on her lips to get her signature look. Not even Kim is buying that.
If Forster's experience is any indication, eventually, the swelling from CandyLipz wears off. She was left with bruising, but her lips returned to their normal state eventually.
There are plenty of other ways to get your lips to swell, but most of them are about as appealing as applying a suction device to your mouth.
You guys can get adventurous about your quest for a plump pout if you want, but I'm probably going to stick to overdrawing mine with a nice lip liner, if you don't mind.
Images: Getty Images(2); YouTube/Derrick Son; Giphy