The Vanderpump Rules Season 3 finale did not end with a bang; rather, Monday night's episode concluded with a whimper. Jax's whimper. As the SUR anniversary drew to a close, Jax was ready to call it a night. While he pontificated about his regrets and the meaning of life in a talking head, we watched our hero walk out to the parking lot. The parking lot where he's presumably parked his truck for years. The parking lot where he presumably knows which spots are a-OK and which spots are not. And that's when it happened: A wave of panic flickered across his face. That wave of panic that anyone who has ever owned a car knows all too well: Jax couldn't find his truck.
Was he imagining things? What's happening? Why isn't his car in this lot? Was this lot at capacity earlier? Did he end up parking in the pay lot across the street? Or it could be in a different row, right?
It's a tale as old as time, er, a tale as old as the automotive: You're POSITIVE you left your car in the row right against the curb, but you don't see it. Your palms begin to sweat. Your breath tightens. Your pulse quickens. You click the LOCK button on the key fob, but don't hear the familiar sound of your car's honk. But you won't give up. Not yet. You keep searching.
And that's exactly what our hero did. He looked:
Where could it be? It has to be around here somewhere, right?
It wasn't in a different row. It wasn't in a different lot. Jax's truck had hitched a ride with a tow truck:
That's when the truth came out: Jax had parked his pickup in a tow-away zone. A tow truck towed his pickup truck away. And the Bravo cameras caught all of it. The truth always comes out eventually.
I feel your pain, Jax. Nobody has time for L.A. parking signs. Especially those smaller signs. Those smaller signs are a menace to us all. So easy to miss. But hey, you'll get 'em next time. You always do, Jax. You always do.
Images: Vivian Zink/Bravo; Bravo (4)