Guess what March 3 is, everyone?! It's none other than Jessica Biel's 33rd birthday!!! Think you're excited about it? Well, her husband Justin Timberlake is, naturally, WAY more excited than you. Justin Timberlake wished Jessica Biel happy birthday on Instagram with the most adorbs caption ever. Further evidence to the fact that their love is the stuff of a million romantic comedies.
On Tuesday afternoon, Timberlake posted an endearingly grainy picture of himself and Biel looking like two regular, extremely happy people in love. He captioned the pic with the kind of golden retriever enthusiasm that he embodies in most of his life's pursuits. "Happy Bday to the sweetest, most GORGEOUS, goofiest, most BAD-ASS chick I know. You make me smile til it hurts. I love you like crazy! -- Your Huz" If anyone other than JT used the term "Huz," I would find it repulsive. But because it's him, and I have a feeling that he's using it at least 70 percent ironically, I'll let it slide.
If I'm correct in who I imagine Timberlake to be — the winner of your high school Personality Plus superlative times a million — Jessica Biel is currently having the best day ever. Why? Because it's likely that her baby daddy planned an unfathomably great birthday for her. That day probably looked a little something like this.
He probably got her an amazing custom gift
One of his gifts to her was probably a priceless piece of jewelry, and I'm hoping the other is the above photo screen-printed on a snuggie. It's equal parts sincere and jokey. Not to mention, you can only give someone your d--k in a box so many times.
And breakfast in bed, like WHAT?!
Every great birthday should begin like this. It's science.
Then there would be a hilarious pop-culture referencing cake
[Twitter Embed: https://twitter.com/vereentjoeng/statuses/539949735579115521]
Perhaps it didn't have didn't have a fondant of Benedict Cumberbatch on it, but I'm sure he got her an amazing and unique birthday cake.
Next they'd go to a sporting event and make out
'Cause it's their thing. Duh!
And it was all capped off with a surprise party
Her parents! Her best friend from middle school! Beyoncé and Jay Z! Everyone showed up to surprise Jess on her special day, all thanks to the thoughtful coordination of her Huz. While it probably wasn't too much of a surprise (I mean, he must do this EVERY year), I would imagine that it never gets old.
Many happy returns, J Bones!
Image: Giphy (3)