Well, it looks like Buffy the Vampire Slayer won't be pulling a Veronica Mars anytime soon: In recent soul crushing news the Slayer herself, Sarah Michelle Gellar said Buffy reunions are a no go now and in the near future. In fact, Gellar considered herself "too old" for the Buffy role: "I joke that I'd have to have a walker and my walker would be made of wood, and that would be how I would stake people, at this point, I'm a little old," she told the Press Association.
I protest! Well, kind of, because as a media critic, I understand where she's coming from. Not only have the eternally 20-something vampires aged considerably, but reunions of this ilk are usually done for the sake of cashing in on nostalgia. Plus, everyone in that cast has since clawed to get out of the shadow of that show, with varying amounts of success. It's been over 10 years. I get it.
But as a fan, I am devastated and will never be OK again. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Buffy the Vampire Slayer is a show that defined my adolescence (and, furthering that, half predicted all the poor choices I later made in life). Everything in the world would be better if Buffy was still around to save the day.
1. Season Eight and Season Nine did pretty well in expanding on the Buffyverse.
For the unenlightened, Season Eight and Season Nine are graphic novel anthologies/continuations of the TV series. They're pretty true to tone, they provide some insight on what would happen next, and people have bought the comics. There's some good material to jump off from, instead of working own a whole backstory of what happened in the last decade.
2. Alternately, there's some weirdness from Seasons Eight and Nine that would be worth changing.
I don't want to be spoilerific, but, in the comics, Buffy may or may not turn into a literal robot (not a separate Buffybot, but a LITERAL ROBOT). And Dawn may or may not get transformed into a giant. And speaking of Dawn, she may or may not have a relationship with Xander. Maybe. Compromises would have to be made when it comes to potentially incorporating the graphic novels.
3. The eternal chemistry of the Scooby Gang.
In this show, you really believed that the core four were the best of friends, and every time someone left the group (Tara, Oz, even Cordelia) our hearts sank. These crazy kids (and occasional 200-year-old vampires) literally lived and died with each other, and all believed, with strong conviction, that anything was worth facing so long as they were together. (Also, let's just consider that Xander, who bless his heart was mostly useless, managed to save the world with his love for Willow.) Friendship isn't when you tag someone in an Instagram, it's when you support them through their evil, veiny phase. We need to be reminded of this.
4. The potential of reviving a fun cartoon format.
Here's an alternate idea which could possibly work, because if Gellar is wary of reviving a show based on a failed movie, then why not try to revive the failed animated series BASED on the show based on a failed movie? Or let me rephrase, why can't we do a Buffy cartoon?
Think about it, the cast IS old by now (James Marsters, who portrayed Spike, is 52, good luck processing that news), but they could certainly lend a voice to a well-drawn animation. Of course Buffy the Animated Series never took off, but I think if it was delivered as a short web series or a even a one-shot 30 minute special, it could definitely work.
5. Unresolved issues with Spike and Angel.
I'm personally not losing sleep over this, but after the lack of resolution with the Angel finale, I'm sure there are people still participating in this tug of war.
6. The perspective of an older, more mature Buffy.
She would be, by my estimation, 34-years-old by now, and dealing with all sorts of new problems. Has she turned slaying into a full-time paid career, or does she have a sensible day job? Is she in a relationship, is motherhood a consideration? Or is she a strong, independent woman who has to fend off "Why haven't you found a nice guy yet?" questions with "All my boyfriends were mass-murderers and I prevented eight apocalypses, why are you still asking this?" It would be a way different place than where we left off, but worth it for those new adventures.
Images: 20th Century Fox, Giphy (7)