'New Girl' Roommate Moving Out: Why it Should Totally Be Jess

So, one of the roommates on New Girl is moving out to make way for the return of Coach. Indeed, Happy Endings' star (and former loftmate) Damon Wayans will be making his way back to us, but not without a sacrifice. E! has confirmed that one of the housemates will be leaving the loft.

Gasp! Squeak! No! You cry, but fear not: we think this is a really good thing! Plus, the character won't be leaving the show. So that means Jess totally has to move out of the loft.

"But doesn't that defeat the purpose of the show? She IS the New Girl!" Which, yeah, but three seasons in, I think it's safe to say that there's nothing new about this girl anymore. So it's time to mix things up, and kicking out Jess (however it comes to pass) is the most unexpected and disruptive move, which is why it is so necessary.

The "obvious" choice would be Winston (Lamorne Morris), as his replacement when Wayans left the series after the pilot for the ABC comedy that once-was (and IiiiiiEEEEiiiIIII will always loooove youuuuuuu, Happy Endings). But that's the worst idea, and also the most insensitive and dumb. And with all of his emotional fuckery that is in dire need of some friend perspective, Schmidt (Max Greenfield) seems far too fragile to send out solo, given his general erratic behavior and nuttiness. But if we want continued character growth and ridiculousness, the Jess move presents the most options. For example:

  1. She could move in with CeCe. We all know these alleged best friends could use a reconnect — especially considering Schmidt's takeover of the majority of the girls' interactions these days.
  2. Which could mean: character development! I mean, how great would it be to see CeCe grow and move on despite Schmidt's attempts to win her back? Or (for those Schmidt and CeCe relationship enthusiasts) for the two to move on and grow up separately and... maybe get back together, but like adults this time?
  3. It'll give Nick a chance to come into his own. Living with your girlfriend, especially when first starting out as a couple, is precarious. And it allows for people to simply move from one guiding force (roommates/friends) to another (significant other). If Nick has to live in a world where he only sees Jess and is positively-influenced by her some of the time, the rest of the time he'll have to figure his own shit out. Or work on himself. Or play some hilarious pranks with Winston, Schmidt, and Coach.
  4. The Pranks! Without Jess as the voice of reason, the guys will be boys. (Emphasis on the "boy" part.) And, well, is there anything better?
  5. Diversity. I mean, having more than one black person on a very white show is a very good thing. Don't throw Winston out on the street — that just feels kinda racist and icky.
  6. More True American? One can only hope.

Coach was an interesting character with clear potential prior to his departure: he couldn't talk to women, had the same bodily obsessions as Schmidt, and just generally seemed to embody many of the insecurities the guys have been evolving beyond for the past few seasons. He was the intersection between Nick and Schmidt. The potential for conflict is high here. Especially considering the fact that it feels fairly true to life: friends come and go, and sometimes the reintroduction isn't always the smoothest. The potential for calamity, hilarity, and continued evolution is strong with this one. So let's drop him in and kick Jess out.