Tonight you will be visited by two ghosts: the Bro of Frat Boy Future, and the Bro of Frat Boy Past. At least, I'm pretty sure that was the intention behind this video of college seniors and actual senior citizens competing in drinking games. In it, the two teams go head-to-head in rounds of beer pong, flip cup, and straight up chugging beer—and it gets every bit as intense as we all hoped it would. I suppose this was wholly necessary to answer a question that must be haunting every dude-bros mind from age 18 to 85: Will they really be dude-bros forever? Or will their aging livers finally force them to turn in all their dude-bro merit drinking badges for life?
I'm not going to pretend to understand the macho association between beer-chugging and manhood, but I will say that I can't think of a more appropriate way to ring in St. Patrick's Day than this. The college boys are hilariously game, but the old men are genuine masters of sass. Forget "with age comes wisdom"; clearly with age comes the ability to mercilessly smack talk young'uns, and I've never been more excited to grow old than I was watching this video. Here's a rough play-by-play of the competition so you can pre-game whatever St. Patrick's Day shenanigans you and your green-clad self are getting down to tonight:
Round One: BEER PONG
This is about the time when the kiddies start trying to back talk their elders.
Elders who are entirely unfazed.
(Rough translation: "LOLOLOLOL KIDS.")
The kids take this first round
And are dangerously smug about it.
Alas, trouble is brewing on the horizon
The second round begins with a rousing game of flip cup.
The competition is stiff
The college kids are panicking, the senior citizens are chill sauce.
They are clearly the superior cup-flippers
And I approve of them adopting a "tortoise beats the hare" strategy by remaining super calm the whole time.
The seniors take the win, and the game is tied up, with one final round left: beer-chugging.
Like any relay, it's imperative here to work as a team, and both groups were clearly willing to do just that.
Best line of the whole charade is, by far, one of the old men saying to the other, "Well, you're Irish," to justify making him the anchor.
Happy St. Patrick's Day again, everyone.
The senior citizens crush the college seniors
And with that, society's tired, outdated view of old men officially changes forever, and we all learn to respect our drunk elders, etc, etc.
Then, just to make all of our lives a little brighter, they proceed to celebrate by singing, "Hit The Road, Jack" and telling the kids to "come back in 40 years".
Sorry, fellow millennials. #YouTried.
Here's the full video of the games below:
Images: Complex Video (12)