No, it’s not that I’m a Born-Again Christian, it’s just that I freak out for men who look like Jesus. I find their long hair, dark beards, and sad eyes, practically irresistible. The truth is Jesus is sexy. I'm not trying to be sacrilegious, or disrespectful about anybody's beliefs — all I'm saying that I appreciate the Jesus look. I don’t go to church, and I wasn’t raised in any religion. Everything I know about Christianity is from watching the movie-musical Jesus Christ Superstar. Yes, I know that movie is really old, and probably many of you have no idea what I'm talking about. I suggest you head over ( immediately) to Amazon and watch it on Instant Video. I've seen it hundreds of times, and it wasn't to learn more about religion, it's because Jesus Christ Superstar is my porn. Come on, Jesus is gorgeous!
Men who look like Jesus are super-hot, and once you get past the dated and lame aspects of the movie, you'll agree that in Jesus Christ Superstar there’s a ton of Jesus-hotness going on. I give you the shirtless priests who sing This Jesus Must Die for example. If, while you are drooling over the abs of the actors, you learn a little bit about Christianity, then everybody wins.
What am I'm feeling? It's a tingling in my lady-parts.
I’m not alone in this — a lot of people have a thing for Jesus. In fact there’s even a Tumbler called Hot Men Who Look like Jesus. According to their site, you get extra hotness points if you
1. Have any god-like qualities (always good)
2. Wear, and I quote “Roman drapery/ponchos.” I wasn’t aware that ponchos were modern day men’s wear. I wonder what other 1970s women’s fashions trends will grace the Perry Ellis runway this year. Gauchos? Jumpsuits? Palazzo pants? Whatever it is, occasional Jesus-resembler Jared Leto, will be able to rock it.
There's also a Facebook page about hot Jesus guys, because once you go Jehovah, clean shaven just doesn't do it for you.
Once I meet this guy online, and when he sent me his picture, I was happily surprised to find out that he looked just like Jesus. Really good looking-drool worthy, I'd say. He later told me that he was the go-to-guy if anyone in the entertainment industry needed a Jesus lookalike. Besides playing the Prince of Peace in movies and TV, he performed the occasional singing-telegram. Forget a piñata, nothing says a kickass kid’s party as much as Jesus belting out the happy birthday song. But he was just too busy being the doppelganger for the Son of God for it to work out between us.
Luckily my current boyfriend has a beard and sad eyes. If I could just get him to grow his hair out--then he'd be perfect.