Raise your hand if you’ve ever been that guy or girl that let’s their green-eyed monster come out to play! We’re not proud of it, but hey, we are all human. A little bit of feeling jealous is natural, especially when it comes to relationships. Maybe you don’t love the fact that your boyfriend always texts his friend (who happens to be a girl). But if you’re constantly looking to see who liked your girlfriend’s photos or you’ve memorized your husband’s IG followers by heart, it’s about time to check your jealousy at the door.
So, okay, you know your green-eyed monster has gone all Godzilla — now what? How do you tame this beast, or at the very least, put it on a tight leash? As much as you would like, you can’t just wish it away. You have to understand where your jealous ways are coming from and actively work at becoming a happier and mentally healthier you.
Here are 7 proactive ways to become less of a jealous person.
1. Come Clean
Keeping your suspicious ways under wraps is exhausting. So let your partner know what’s going on inside that head of yours. Open up and come clean. A relationship is a team and both of you need to work through things together. With a loving and understanding significant other, you both can come up with a plan to tackle your jealousy issue.
2. Help From Friends
What’s life if your friends aren’t there to help you out? Your gal pals or guy friends are there for you to lean on. They can offer you support or even an open ear to help you through your uneasy feelings. Maybe one of them also struggles from occasional social stalking of his or her partner as well. Feeling like you’re not alone in this world of jealous thoughts can be helpful.
3. Re-evaluate Relationship
In relationships, people bring out different sides. If your significant other is bringing out your jealous side to the max, it’s about to time reevaluate that relationship. Is it that your partner doesn’t make you feel super secure, or could it be your intuition telling you something? If there are actual realistic reasons you should be jealous, then it’s not yourself you should be examining. Where there’s smoke, there’s fire and you may want to run for the nearest exit.
A little therapy never hurt anyone. In face, it does quite the opposite. If you feel like you're waving your jealousy flag wildly for all to see, maybe it’s time to do a little work on yourself. Seeing a therapist can help you better understand where these feelings are coming from and how to work on them.
5. Stop The Detective Work
Coming from a girl who can social stalk like nobody’s business, I know the deep whole one can get in once they go down that path. So, word from the wise, put down that magnifying glass and stop doing detective work. If you’re looking for something, you will find it. And what you most likely will find is that it only increases your jealous ways. The more you check your partner’s phone and social stalk them, the more obsessed you become. Therefore, if you want to lessen your jealous feelings, you need to lessen this behavior.
6. Reality Check
Another important tool when it comes to that green-eyed monster is to give yourself a reality check. When you know you’ve got some “crazy” thoughts circulating inside your noggin, write it down and compare it to the reality of the situation. Taking time out to really evaluate the legitimacy of your thoughts will be well worth it.
7. Extra Reassurance
Sometimes all you need is a little extra reassurance. Maybe you’re feeling a little insecure right now and you need to hear a few more “I love yous” during the week. Hearing sweet words or compliments from your lover can make all the difference. Whatever it is, speak up to your partner and express your need for reassurance. If your significant other is dedicated to the relationship and to you, he or she will put in the extra love and effort.
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