McDonald's Big Mac Apparel & Home Goods Collection Is Only Available In Sweden, But It'll Still Make Your Mouth Water From Afar
With designers like Moschino already cashing in on McDonald's iconic branding, the fast food giant has decided to get into the fashion game first-hand. To celebrate their "I'm Lovin' It 24" campaign, the company has founded the Big Mac Shop, which will be selling thermals, bedding, wallpaper, raincoats, wellingtons, and even a dog jacket all emblazoned with a repeating, photorealistic Big Mac pattern. Though the premise may initially sound odd and ridiculous, a quick glance through the products themselves proves surprisingly charming.
The only terrible news about this new endeavor? The pieces will only be available in Sweden, so get your favorite Swede on the phone right now and bribe them with some only-in-America type swag. While this is more likely than not the desperate move of a corporation that's seeing its profits in consistent decline, I'm not ashamed to admit that after looking through their forthcoming Swedish creations, I am, in fact, lovin' it.
McDonald's is the first restaurant chain to cash in on the fashion market, but they certainly should not (and probably will not) be the last. To kick start this fast food fashion trend, I've given five of the top purveyors of fattening foods some of my best sartorial ideas. Hopefully, all of these will be available at a drive-thru near you in no time flat.
The Taco Bell Crunchwrap Coat
Maybe it's just me, but while chowing down on one of Taco Bell's many questionable food endeavors, the Crunchwrap, have you ever noticed how the tortilla encasing is intricately folded so as to trap the thousands of empty calories inside? Now imagine that origami-like intricacy applied to a voluminous cocoon coat. I could see such a look coming down the runway from any number of high-end designers, they'd just have to burn the take-out bags if anyone should ask them where they got their inspiration from.
The Wendy's Frosty Hat
Everyone loves Frostys. That's just a fact of life. They are the ideal chocolatey vanilla blend of creamy perfection. So why not go the extra step and wear one on your head? Frostys are always finished off with Wendy's signature curly swoop, so just imagine that shape applied to the top of a beret. It would be like Philip Treacy meets Dairy Queen. Every British royal would be wearing one to the horse races come Ladies' Day. But, thanks to me, you can get in on the ground floor of this trend and make some major millinery waves right now!
Burger King Chicken Fries Jewelry
I wish I could say I was creative enough to have come up with this one on my own, but full disclosure, I was inspired by Internet muse, The Fat Jewish, and his dangly belly button adornment. While this look certainly is not for the timid, I can oddly enough imagine people getting super into this look. Especially if the chicken fries were actually edible and you had a portable delicious snack at your fingertips wherever you went. But I guess, in that case, you'd also have a hard time saving any fries to use as actual pieces of jewelry.
The Subway Baguette Bag
Fendi may have made the baguette bag famous, but Subway could be the ones to make it delicious. The baguette silhouette in handbags is a tried and true favorite, but the number one fast food purveyor of baguettes has yet to try their hand at the handbag game. With Jared as their go-to model/muse, the sandwich chain already has an instantly recognizable face to sport their new designs. What could be better than a $5 foot-long clutch? A bag that also comes with it's own built-in scent, meaning you'll smell like fresh backed bread wherever you go.
Dominos Pizza Patterned Tees
I actually can't believe Dominos hasn't even attempted to cash in on this idea yet. We all know pizza everything has been a ridiculously huge trend going on a few years now. So the only next logical step for America's foremost purveyors of 'za could take is expanding into the wild world of apparel. I'm imagining super close up pictures of a few of those topping-laden "American Legends" pizzas turned into a mouth-watering all-over print. I'll take an XL Cali Chicken Bacon Ranch, please.