I Had A "Virtual Ramen Date" And It Was Awkward

If there's one struggle every person who has ever had to feed themselves on a budget knows, it's this: What do you do when your ramen is cooking? Nothing makes three minutes feel quite as long as waiting for your freeze-dried noodles to turn into soup. But hey, here's an idea: Why not go on a virtual ramen date? I've got just the thing for you, thanks to the wonders of the Internet.

As a promo for… Actually, I'm not really sure what. Cup Noodle, yes — but whether there's a new and spectacular type of Cup Noodle in town, I am as yet uncertain. Anyhoo, getting back on track: As a promo for the wondrous invention that is Cup Noodle, Nissan has launched a site that keeps you entertained for the three minutes during which your ramen cooks by sending you on a virtual date. The site even has a timer on it and everything.

Your dreamboat for this little adventure is Japanese heartthrob Takumi Saito, a triple threat known equally for his acting talents, model good looks, and ability to carry a tune (or at least, that's what his Wikipedia page is telling me). Since I don't speak Japanese, I can't actually tell you what we talked about on our three-minute speed date, but here's how it went:

Our date began in a field somewhere. I have no idea how we got there, or even why we're both there in the first place — but does that really matter? After all, we're looking at TRUE ROMANCE HERE, PEOPLE.

I don't know what you're saying, but it sounds divine. Please, keep speaking. Your language is beautiful.

Yes, yes — keep talking. I am an expert smiler-and-nodder.

...I'm sorry, am I boring you?

What? Is my conversation not scintillating enough?

Look, Saito-san, I'm trying. I'm really, really trying, but this whole language barrier thing is making it extraordinarily difficult.

Okay. Yes. I'm sorry, too. Let's just enjoy the limited time we have left.

Well, that was awkward. Saito-san, you seem nice — but I don't really see this relationship going anywhere. I'd rather spend my three minutes doing one of the following things instead:

1. Work Out

The three-minute workout is not only a thing, but an effective thing. Who knew?

2. Play Trivia Crack

I should never have downloaded this app. I blame my boyfriend.

3. Update My To-Do List

There's nothing more satisfying that crossing something off.

4. Finally Figure Out How Instagram Works

It's kind of difficult if you're not a visual person.

5. Watch This Entire Video

Never mind. I only made it about a minute and a half.

6. See How Accurately I Can Guess The Duration Of Three Minutes

One Mississippi...two Mississippi...three Mississippi...

7. Write A Terrible Haiku

Ramen is cooking

O whatever shall I do?

Waiting kind of sucks.

8. Watch My Cat Sleep

She's really cute when she's sleepy. But hey, if you'd rather hang out with Saito-san, go on your own virtual ramen date here.

Images: Daniel Y. Go/Flickr; Lucia Peters/ (7); Giphy (2); Orphan Black/Tumblr