8 Things You Should Never Say To An 'Empire' Fan, Unless You Want To Face The Wrath Of Cookie
Empire may have only been around since January, but that doesn't mean it hasn't already garnered a massive following. (I guess you could say Empire has it's own empire of fans, in a way.) I mean, the ratings alone should be a big indicator of just how much pull this series has — an impressive feat considering it's only just come off its freshman season. And while Cookie Lyon, the queen of comebacks, can be attributed to a large chunk of this success, there's no denying that the series as a whole is of the highest caliber. Oh, and did I mention that the original songs are absolutely phenomenal? (Please note, if you haven't already downloaded the soundtrack, then you need to start rethinking your priorities.)
But believe it or not, there are still some (very few, mind you) people out there who have yet to watch even a single episode of Empire since it first debuted. I mean, I'm trying not to judge here, but really, what are you waiting for?!?! Poor life choices aside, though, non-watchers have a very dangerous line to tread when it comes to interacting with diehard Empire fans. So I figured now would be a good time to pass along a few words of caution to those out there who still only associate a "cookie" as a form of dessert. (Amateurs.) Seriously, though, you might want to think twice before you say any of these things to an Empire fan. You've been warned…
"The Songs Aren't That Great"
Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot that you are a big time music executive and know everything there is to know about the industry. Also, do you not have ears? These songs and vocals are uh-mazing. And anyone who suggests anything else it outright lying.
"So, The Show Is Basically Copying Shakespeare's King Lear? Lame."
Bet I can think of something even lamer. Like this conversation, for instance. If you took the time to actually watch the show, you'd realized that while yes, Empire does have a King Lear undertone, the compelling storylines, captivating vocals, and genius dialogue are entirely its own entity. You know, unless I'm completely forgetting the part in King Lear when they burst out into song and create their own record label. But hey, it's been a while since my college Shakespeare class, so maybe I'm mistaken.
"There Are Too Many Guest Stars"
That's like saying there's too much cheese on a slice of pizza or too much hot fudge on a sundae. It's simply impossible.
"It's An Unrealistic Representation Of The Music Industry"
Compared to all the other shows on television that are totally based on real life occurrences? Yeah, that's what I thought. OK, bye!
"The Cast Is A Bunch Of No-Namers"
I can't even with this. I can't EVEN.
"There's Not Enough Action"
Crazy cat fights, murder, endless amounts of family drama. You're right. What a snooze-fest. Honestly, though, if this is what boring feels like, then I'll take three helpings every day.
"I Just Don't See What All The Fuss Is About"
Well, according to the incredible ratings and non-stop, worldwide praise, you're pretty much the only one. So congratulations, I guess?
"This Cookie Character Sounds Overrated"
If this doesn't merit an epic Cookie shoe throw, then I don't know what does. You can go now.