10 Stages You Go Through When Your Significant Other Is Out Of Town
Living with your romantic partner can simultaneously be really wonderful and really hard. On the one hand, you love your partner, which is why you decided to live with him or her in the first place, and you love your life together. On the other hand, sometimes you really miss living on your own, doing whatever you want, whenever you feel like it, and not having to make concessions about noise, space, or housekeeping. So when your significant other announces that he’s going out of town for two weeks, outwardly you say “That’s so long! I’m really going to miss you!”, but inside you’re like, “TWO WEEKS ALL TO MYSELF. I will listen to Kate Bush on blast and not do dishes the entire time!!! Bwaahahahaha SWEET FREEDOM!” These divergent feelings don't make you a bad person, or an unloving partner, but in fact, just an independent human who, despite choosing to share your life with someone, still values your alone time. In other words, you're in love, but you're also healthy, balanced, and generally pretty awesome.
And then the emotional roller coaster begins: Yes, you have all this space to yourself, but after a while, all this space...seems kind of empty and sad. And, sure, your S.O.’s not complaining about the terrible/amazing reality show you love, but you’re getting kind of tired of talking only to the dog. So many feelings!
Here they are, the emotional stages of being all on your own when your live-in partner is out of town:
1. "Woohoo! I get to do whatever the hell I want!"
I will never get out of my pajamas, I will only eat left over pizza, and I will take up the whole goddamn couch!
2. "I’m going to binge watch all of the shows that I know you don’t like."
The next three days will be entirely consumed a Once Upon A Time marathon. I’m not even convinced that I like that show, but I know you hate it, so it’s ON.
3. "I will do things around the house that I know would irritate the hell out of you."
I’m leaving dirty dishes everywhere. That’s right, everywhere. Aw, yiss.
4. "I'm going to dinner by myself and it is awesome."
Hanging out at a restaurant with a glass of wine and a book is totally underrated. Why don’t I do this more often?
5. "Look at me, having a little party without you."
The BFFs are coming over to drink wine, paint nails, and gossip. About you.
6. "Why are there dirty dishes everywhere?"
The junk begins to build, and I’m suddenly realizing that all the housework is my goddamned responsibility.
7. "Why do I have to take the dog out Every. Single. Time?"
Seriously, why can’t she learn to take herself on walks?
8. "I now officially hate that show that I was only watching because you hate it."
That show is dead to me.
9. "When are you coming home? I’m miss your stupid, beautiful face."
This party of one has gotten kind of sad.
10. "You’re back! THANK GOD."
Never leave me again. I was starting to have long conversations with myself in the mirror.
Images: David Urbanke/Flickr;