If you’re a Christian, then yesterday was a big day for you. Not just because the Easter Rabbit came to town bearing chocolates and treats, but it’s also the day that you celebrate Jesus’ rising from the dead. It is, by all accounts, a pretty holy day. But, despite this, porn sites got a ton of traffic yesterday, and a different type of traffic to boot: Easter porn. Pornhub Insights noticed that yesterday that users on the site were sticking with the theme of the day and released a list of the most popular Easter porn searches.
The most popular search terms were “Easter,” followed by “Easter bunny,” “bunny costume,” “church,” and “Jessica rabbit,” respectively, were the top five.
Which leads me, and I’m sure many others to wonder, when you search, say, “Easter bunny” what exactly are you hoping to see? Some National Geographic type shit of rabbits fornicating, but maybe in Easter bonnets for the special occasion? And when these people are typing in the word “church,” is it with the hope of stumbling upon some priest-on-nun action on an alter decorated with white, virginal Easter lilies with an entire congregation watching? I’m all for people watching what they want to get off, but I am truly confused as to how in between church and ham dinner with the grandparents yesterday, that anyone sat down and searched those specific topics, not to mention the other topics searched which included but are not limited to, “Easter egg,” and “anal Easter bunny.”
Pornhub’s research also went on to include where all this porn watching was taking place. It found that in devoutly Christian countries like Romania and Italy, the porn watching average dropped by a decent amount, 22 percent and 14 percent, respectively, but in Egypt and India where Christians are few and far between, their average actually went up a bit yesterday. In the United States, porn watching only decreased by three percent yesterday, and on Good Friday (the Friday before Easter, for all you heathens out there) it remained the same, which I’m sure means many will be making up for lost time today and tonight.
I think the takeaway here is an easy one: Some people just won't let Jesus stand between them and their porn. And, since this is the case, all those good Christians, in the hopes of not being totally inappropriate by watching porn on Easter, probably figured their best bet of staying in God’s good graces was to infuse some Easter into their searches. I mean, seriously, how else does one reconcile the fact that so many people were searching “Easter porn” yesterday?
Image: Guillaume Lemoine/Flickr; Giphy(2)
