You've Been Drinking Your Coffee Wrong For Years

I have a public service announcement for all caffeine addicts: You've been doing everything wrong. Right now, for instance, I am sitting next to my drained mug of tea and stewing in the wrongness of every caffeinated choice I have ever made. But it's going to be OK, because there is still plenty of time in our lives for us to take advantage of this BuzzFeed video that shows you how to combine coffee and ice cream sandwiches to make a milkshake. Nay, not just a milkshake — the ultimate caffeinated beverage of all time. In fact, there's more than enough time, because this legitimately looks like it takes a minute to make, tops.

I think so often in life we complicate both our dessert and our coffee options, and fancy coffee shops have profited on this lifelong indecision pretty much since our taste of them rendered us addicts forever. But the thing is, our lives could be so much more simple and delicious. Why deny yourselves the simple pleasure of a coffee milkshake at eight in the morning when you could just as easily pay five bucks for one with a fancy name from a barista? This is cost-effective, guys. I mean, yeah, you'll probably die a little sooner than you would have if you didn't eat one of these at every meal, but just THINK OF ALL THE MONEY YOU'LL SAVE.

It really is rindonk simple. There are only three steps, so even I can't screw this up.

OK, what's a blender? Twenty bucks? Worthy investment, if you ask me. I don't own one because blenders usually mean getting tricked into eating healthy smoothies, but this is clearly not the kind of situation we need to fear here.

I feel like "Add ice cream sandwiches" could apply to so many things in life and equal success.

Ah, yes, the part that will keep us alive. Then basically you just blend it using your fancy blending machine, and pour yourself a glass of yum:

And it even got vetted by some of the BuzzFeed team. I don't have to watch their reactions to know that this is a goldmine of delicious, and we all need to run to the nearest grocery store and Hunger Games-style start ripping ice cream sandwiches off of the freezer shelves. Here's what the taste testers had to say about it:

I feel like "damn fine" is the best way to endorse anything.

Cookie butter?! This just in: We have discovered the secret to everything.

SOLD. Well, everyone except for Andrew:

Really, though, this could not have worked out better. MORE FOR THE REST OF US. Here's the full video:

Images: YouTube (9)