11 Things You Think About During Sex

We're not perfect: sometimes when we're thinking about how hot our partner is, how hot we are, or how to have great sex in general, our minds wander and we find ourselves thinking about things going on that aren't necessarily about the sex. I should add a disclaimer to this: If you're constantly distracted during sex and can't keep your mind on the act, or if your mind wandering occurs during the whole act and isn't just a momentary passing, you might be dissatisfied sexually, and should probably consider discussing that with your partner. Serious issues aside, there isn't a person on earth who doesn't have at least one non-sex related thought during sex from time to time.

For me, it's a case of seeing something in the room that triggers a non-sexy thought, but which generally dissolves very quickly when something gets squeezed or rubbed and I'm sent on a pleasurable hurtle back into the moment. Minds are liable to wander, and while having sex is pretty much the best thing you can do, it's still not immune to the odd extra-curricular thought. Here are eleven things you might think about during sex that are not really sex related at all:

1. How much you want to squeeze that ingrown hair on your bikini line

You know the one. You didn't see it before but you spot it when someone has their head between your legs and you think, "If I inch my hand over here like this, will they even notice if I give it a little squeeze right now...?" Yes, there are more important and wonderful things happening, but goddamn if that little asshole isn't completely distracting you.

2. If your tummy looks fat when your knees are behind your ears

I'm always distracted by the way my tummy bunches up when I'm in plough pose during sex. It's hypnotic.

3. How you have to remember how you stretched this way for your next yoga class

Speaking of plough pose, this sex is really going to rubber you up for your next yoga class...

4. How much you want to pop that pimple on your partner's back

It's just staring at you, isn't it? Make a mental note to ask to squeeze it later.

5. If your bed sheets need to be washed

How long has it been? One week? Two? More importantly, how much sweaty sex has been had in these sheets since you last washed them? Is that a lube stain or a body fluid stain? You should really wash your sheets after this.

6. If the dinner in the oven is going to burn while you're doing this

I mean, if you've stopped mid-cooking for a quickie, of course you're going to worry about everything burning. But sex comes first, so in the end, you'll just order out if you have to.

7. How badly the hair on the back of your head is being matted right now

Especially if you just washed/styled your hair, at least one passing thought will be dedicated to the sex nest forming on the back of your head.

8. About that little patch of hair on your thigh you must have missed when you were waxing

Why is it that you only notice that tiny little patch of unwaxed hair when you're doing something else?

9. That fart feeling creeping up...

Holding it in sometimes requires great concentration, especially if someone's face is down there.

10. How funny the chest hairs that have come off and stuck to your chest look

If you're a not hairy person having sex with a hairy person, you're probably going to notice some hairs in places you don't normally have them, like your chest, and it will be humorous.

11. How hard you're going to nap after this

We're all tired. Sex takes a lot of energy (albeit the best kind of energy). And we all like to fantasize about that delicious, cuddly nap we're going to have when we're done.

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