I'd be shocked if anyone who was alive and vaguely aware in the '90s doesn't still recall the insipid doo doo doo doo-duh-do-do part of Third Eye Blind's monster radio hit "Semi-Charmed Life." If your fandom for the band or obscure, slightly scandalous trivia ran more deep, you may also know that, actually, "Semi-Charmed Life" is about crystal meth. However, thanks to my high school history of dating a Third Eye Blind B-side snob (Who knew there's such a thing? There is a such a thing, and he is one of those things. I might be, too, but that's less important), I knew exactly the song "John" is performing in this hilarious gotcha! video. Yes, some person caught his drunk roommate singing Third Eye Blind and posted it online. It is inspired.
Man, we can make fun of this guy, but let's be honest: Chilling solo with a beer and belting your heart out to a totally memorized, personally meaningful song is the best. The extent to which this rules is rivaled only by the extent to which getting caught sucks. Once I thought I had my apartment to myself so I celebrated by shower-performing an passionate Dixie Chicks cover (as you do), only to find out, shortly after toweling off, that my roommate's boyfriend was still definitely lurking behind the closed door to her room. We have never spoken of this, and I hope we never will.
I wish my audience were a computer screen full of cartoon dragons. Anyway, see drunk roommate John in his most natural, beautiful state:
John! I love how he first attempts to save it by continuing on with his very horrible, very feeling crooning only to immediately crumble. Holding his Shock Top and facing his roommate, John heartbreakingly asks, "Why would you do that?" Why, indeed, roommate. Why indeed.
His neck beard alone warrants empathy and adoration. I'm pretty sure 3EB lead singer Stephan Jenkins would hate this, mostly because he seems to hate everything, save having sex (this is reasonable) and top hats (why). Anyone remember his edition of MTV Cribs? I hope so, as I compulsively reference it in conversation (he was dating Vanessa Carlton at the time!) and now have a legit reason to bring it up again. For starters, his high-larious joke: "What's a musician without a girlfriend? Homeless!" Hahahaha...wait. Anyway, you have to squint a little, but it's still quite good:
Hey, Jenkins? If you still have a useless office, holler. I mean, Vanessa married that dude from Deer Tick a while ago (WHICH STEVIE NICKS OFFICIATED?). I think we could make it work. I know I could definitely make that office work.
Images: Topher Sheppard/YouTube (3)
