It may sound like an oxymoron, but there is such thing as an “outgoing introvert.” Just like the term itself, the outgoing introvert is an embodiment of paradoxes. Sometimes they enjoy being the centre of attention in a large group, while other times want to be left the heck alone. Once in a while they love engaging in conversation; sometimes they’d rather just listen quietly. Occasionally they will come home from work fully energized and pep; other times, they’ll retreat to their room and binge-watch Netflix for the rest of the night...with a warning not to even think about disturbing them.
Because the outgoing introvert has character traits that include both introversion and extroversion, some people may refer to these folks as ambiverts.
Anyway, if you’re in dating an outgoing introvert, no doubt you’ve at times been seriously confused by their occasional behavioral changes. And that’s OK: figuring out what makes them tick is not always easy.
Above all else, you must remember this: outgoing introverts can be perfectly happy alone—but they don’t want or need to be alone all the time. In other words: outgoing introverts seek personal connection too. Just on their own terms.
Here are a few things to help you better understand (and appreciate!) the enigma known as the outgoing introvert.
1. Social settings are fun for outgoing introverts, but exhausting
The outgoing side of the outgoing introvert often enjoys social settings and may even be the life of the party, but the introverted side can quickly get drained—and after a while, they may even be annoyed by the very people they were having fun with only a couple hours ago.
2. When outgoing introverts need to leave, they need to leave now
They don’t want to be the last ones to leave the party: when they have decided it’s time to go home to recharge, you won’t be able to convince them otherwise. So if you’re the type that likes to close the bar, you may want to arrange different transportation with an outgoing introvert.
3. Outgoing introverts are great at helping you figure other people out
The social side of the outgoing introvert can ask questions; the introverted side likes to observe and explore the possibilities of what makes people tick. Consider the outgoing introvert your own private investigator—if you want to understand why a particular person behaves the way they do, ask an outgoing introvert for help.
4. But they often feel misunderstood themselves.
Outgoing introverts can go from fully charged to having “no battery power” within hours. Because of the range of emotions an outgoing introvert can exert in one social setting, bystanders may label them as snobby, aloof, or even a little unstable. Your friends and family may question your romantic interest in this person, so be prepared to stick up for your outgoing introvert: they need understanding too!
5. Outgoing introverts understand and appreciate your own need for socializing and/or isolation
Need a night out or weekend away with your buddies? Or maybe you want to go to the cabin by yourself for a few days? Perhaps the best thing about an outgoing introvert is that they are often perfectly fine with you doing your own thing. They don’t always feel a need to tag along: they see the benefits of your own “me time” to you and your relationship. Plus, it frees up their own time to do as they please.
Now go give your outgoing introvert a hug!
Images: Phil Chester/Flickr; Giphy (7)