Chris D'Elia Has An Outdated Take On Dating

I'd like to start out by saying that I think Chris D'elia is an extremely gifted comedian. You look at his beautiful, scruffy, everyman face and in a second, he can transform it into a wide creepy grin paired with a crazy voice that will haunt your dreams (in the most delightful way possible). That's why Chris D'Elia's latest comedy special Incorrigible, which premiered on Netflix at midnight on April 17, is such a letdown. I know that he can simply do better.

The stand-up special has an onslaught of fantastic jokes. It really does. From his impression of a group of rebellious Russians and how their unique letter selections in the alphabet served as a "f—k you" to America, to his retelling of a mildly aggressive recent run-in with an ex who makes fun of his favorite orange shirt, the D'Elia clearly knows how to deliver a punchline. He also shares stories about his own emotional outbursts, and they're amazing and smart and I just want to hug him. But then, came the part that made my eyes roll back in my head.

The rest of the special contained a series of jokes that made it seem like everyone walking around with a vagina is nothing more than an overly emotional, high maintenance, "empty" penis container whose yapping truly gets in the way of a man's inherent and constant need to be screwing. Original? Not even a little bit. Funny? Nah. Here are a few choice lines:

• "Dudes wanna have sex with all of the girls all of the times ... Girls wanna have sex with one or two of the dudes, eh, sometimes."
• After explaining how he's not really listening during a date: "Can we do some dick stuff now? (Imitating a woman's voice) No, stop it. I'm not a slut. I don't just sleep around after the first date. You need to take me some place else next time."
• "(Imitating a woman's voice) You'd be surprised, I like love sex. No really I'm so sexual! (In his regular voice) Then the dude will be like alright let's do it. (Imitating a woman's voice) Oh no, but wait! We can't just do it. I've literally been running around all day."

I'm not an overly sensitive person. I think humor is a way for all of us to connect, to blow off steam, and to cope with situations we can't quite understand. I don't think any subject should be off limits in comedy, because when executed properly, any topic can be used for a joke and might even provide a sliver of comfort to those who need it most.

Jokes on the ins and outs of the dating world are particularly relatable, because sometimes it seems like members of the opposite sex are giant Q's that will never result in comprehensible A's. Aziz Ansari is the master of romance humor, because he taps into the confusion surrounding love in a modern society, and doesn't need to insult women in order to get the point across.

In D'Elia's defense, his crazy, teenage girl voice is spectacular. How you sounded at 14 complaining about the world being the worst and how you "just can't" – he has mastered that. So he HAS to use it. But the problem is that he uses it to make jokes about how adult women don't like sex as much as men, how they manipulate men to pay for dates, and how when they want to talk on dates and get to know the person sitting across from them, men (in general) aren't even listening. Per D'Elia, men are just watching the clock and counting down to the moment it's time for sex. How about "nope"?

But I'm not particularly offended by any of that, because it's not even close to reality. In fact, it just seems like D'Elia is dating in a bubble stuck in an early episode of Friends. I just wish his jokes about dating didn't seem like they came out of a '90s sitcom featuring a grumpy overweight husband pretending to be annoyed by the unwavering drive of his intelligent, gorgeous wife. Because women love sex, can pay for dinner on their own, and have interesting things to say. If you're not listening, then I'm afraid you are missing out, brah.

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