The World Records For Widest Tongue Are Held By This Syracuse Girl And Her Dad, Because Genetics Are Weird And Awesome — VIDEO
I never quite understood the appeal of wagging a tongue at someone you found attractive. I mean, I gather that it insinuates something sexy, but what is the overall effectiveness of such a measure? I guess tongue wagging may also be considered a cry of punk attitude; Miley Cyrus sticks out her tongue a whole lot, at least, in a seemingly rebellious effort. But then again, you can't help it if you're born with an especially impressive tongue like this father and daughter who hold the Guinness World Record for widest tongues. They've got the kind of tongue power that puts all other famous tongues to shame.
Byron Schlenker's tongue is 8.6 centimeters wide, approximately 3.6 centimeters wider than the average human tongue. That might not sound sound like a significant difference, but trust me, it definitely is. Imagine stuffing almost an entire extra tongue in your mouth. (Not like when French kissing when there is a literal extra tongue in there. Like, imagine doing normal activities such as watching Netflix or attempting an aerobics class with all that extra mouth-meat in there. Not easy.) Here is Schlenker's tongue, in all its glory:
I bet ice cream cones even on the hottest days are NBD for this dude. But wait, he's definitely not enjoying these ice cream cones solo. Because genetics are a beautiful thing, his daughter Emily has a similarly wide tongue. Here are the two mugging together in a super normal father-daughter pose:
Emily is just 14 years old, but holds the female record to her dad's male counterpart record. Emily's measures out to 7.33 centimeters wide. Catch the duo in tongue flashing action below. Not sure why this happens in a supermarket directed and unsuspecting shoppers, but hey, let's roll with it:
I am very pleased the video took a break from the grocery store to ask Schlenker's wife about their, ahem, love life. (COME ON, YOU WERE THINKING IT.) But seriously, why wouldn't she brag it up here? I think she at least hints at her satisfaction with those bashful giggles. And we all know the rumors and legend of KISS member Gene Simmons' long and frequently exposed tongue. Just saying.
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Images: Getty Images; Telegraph.Co.UK/Facebook (3)