If Tinder Had Existed In The '80s, Just WOW

by Catie Keck

Can you even, like, imagine what dating was like before the Internet? I'm mostly kidding, of course; People obviously dated before the internet, and to be honest, it was probably a lot simpler and less anxiety-inducing. But it would certainly be far different from what we deal with today. One hilarious new videos imagines what Tinder would've been like in the 1980s, and it places (consciously or not) a mirror to our millennial obsession with the gratification of match culture, that sickly narcissistic fulfillment we get from pairing with someone who thought a cropped picture of your face was interesting enough to swipe right. Also, hey! '80s graphics! Loves it.Tinder’s 1980s app is narrated by the agreeable voice of a faceless woman, its text appearing in that bold video game-style typeface that brings to mind every bad aesthetic of the decade (with the exception of neon, which is the worst in its own unique way). "Who uses Tinder?" asks the video. As it happens, shy people, lonely people, and people looking for nice neighbors to play chess with (or to go to church with), making its reimagined late-20th century networking uses significantly more chaste than present-day Tinder. Additionally, Tinder of the 1980s was stored on—what else—a floppy drive. Remember those?

The below Tinder boasts every imaginable cliche of the 1980s that your foggy millennial brain can muster. Take a moment to appreciate the various facets of this ’80s gem before watching the video in its entirety:

The Sign-Up

"To go to church with." My, how the times they are a-changin'.

The Installation

A mail-in description and photo that will be digitally uploaded to create an unrecognizable digital rendering of your face.

Swiping Left

Imagine doing this for every single "no, thanks" you were matched with. Imagine having to do this at all.

Swiping Right

If the only thing anyone has in common with another person is Oprah aerobics, it may be time to reassess the dynamic of your pending relationship. Praise be to modern technology.

Images: SquirrelMonkeyCom/YouTube