Ever since I can remember, I’ve had extremely thick hair. I can’t tell you how many hair brushes I’ve broken or all of the hair styling fails I’ve made whilst trying to style my hair after something clearly designed for thinner tresses. Now, with all of the smoothing and de-frizzing hair products on the market, having thick hair is great and a little easier to manage. But there can still be one major drawback. Over the years, I’ve learned to embrace and rock my natural hair texture like a champ, but some of the backhanded comments that people pass on about my locks can be ridiculous nonetheless.
Even though I’ve accepted my thick hair — and it’s just a way of life now — it still amazes people to this day, and always comes up in conversation one way or another. It starts out innocently enough, with someone making a comment or two at brunch or at the hair salon. Maybe it’s totally legit, like someone asking me to speed up the styling process and quit hogging the bathroom. Everyone might mean well and just be trying to help. Except it seems like no one can ever really understand the struggle that women with thick hair go through on a daily basis — especially after hearing these remarks over the years.
1. “No, you can’t borrow my hair tie because you might break it again.”
Okay, that was one time! It’s not my fault that your hair ties are weak and can’t handle all of this. Ladies, if there’s sweltering heat outside and your friend is dying to throw her hair into a ponytail, be a good person and let her borrow that hair tie on your wrist. It’s what true friends do.
2. “You take so long to get ready when you wash your hair.”
Umm hello, have you seen the size of this mane? Of course it takes me forever to get ready: Letting my hair dry is an entire process. We’re not those type of women who can just be in and out of the shower — leaving the house with thick, wet hair is the worst. The sooner you learn to accept that this is our way of life instead of complaining about it, the sooner we can go out and do fun things.
3. “It only takes me 10 minutes to straighten my hair, why does it take you so long?”
When women with thick hair use a straightener or blow dryer, we have to go over the same section multiple times and it can take upwards of 30 minutes until we’re done. It must be nice to have hair that can be styled in a matter of minutes, but some of us are not as fortunate. After all, you can’t rush perfection.
4. “I have to use so much product on your hair. Maybe you should get it sheered out with scissors.”
This is a classic line from hair stylists, and really annoying TBH. Yes, I know that I have lots of hair — you don’t have to remind me. No, I’m not interested in the scissors! They will ruin me. (I caved and I tried the sheering scissors once. They messed up my hair and I never got the thickness back to its original form.)
5. “Let’s go somewhere tropical for our vacation this summer!”
No, let’s not. Humidity is the worst enemy of a woman with thick hair and seeing our hair expand to the size of a pyramid will be life changing for you. Trust me when I say that it will take me hours to control my hair, ruining both my vacation and yours. Maybe we can go somewhere with nice, dry heat or perfect weather like Arizona or California!
6. “You shed as much as a dog.”
Look, it’s not my fault that my hair is constantly getting all over the place. I’m doing my best to keep track of it all. Accept me for my shedding ways or don’t accept me at all.
7. “Can I play with your hair?”
As much as we want to allow bae to touch our hair, it’s just a recipe for disaster. Chances are his fingers will get stuck and he'll say something about how knotty your hair is. It could be a cute gesture, but no thanks.
8. “Why don’t your cut your hair short?”
Friends love to suggest this as a solution to your thick hair struggles, but it doesn’t pan out. If you did cut you hair short, you wouldn’t have enough length to weigh it down and it would revert to the natural poof that your hair had when your mom made you get a bowl cut in second grade.
9. “Your hair looks huge.”
Yes, I know it’s big, and guess what? I couldn’t love my hair any more than I do right now. As annoying as it can be to have thick hair sometimes, all of the body it has is awesome, and you do not have to conform. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a hater and you so don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.
Images: thalia_anabelle/Instagram; Giphy(9)