After weeks of speculation the big night finally arrived and we can now say for certain: Cecily Strong's jokes at the White House Correspondence Dinner were amazing. She was a total pro up there (making me miss her even more at the Weekend Update desk) with a rapid fire delivery and even tone. Her speech was well prepared and she dropped burn after burn that addressed everything from Hillary Clinton's campaign (pretty sure she is #teamhilary), the 2016 election (getting me even more excited for SNL’s election coverage) all the way to Bradley Cooper and California’s drought. It was a tour-de-force performance and there were almost too many great jokes to count — though that won’t stop me from trying.
It's hard to choose a favorite (though I am incredibly partial to a Madonna name drop) because everything was so laugh out loud funny. She skewered all of the networks, the political parties, hit TV shows and podcasts alike with sharpshooter precision. Since picking just one favorite favorite joke would be like asking me to pick my favorite CW show (I just can’t choose!), I've collected the top 10 Cecily Strong quotes from the WHCD. In no particular order, because they are all just that good.
"I'm not going to go easy on you because I’m a woman... I'm going to go easier on you because my brain is smaller."
"'It's so great meeting here at the Washington Hilton' is something a prostitute would say to a congressman ... Man if these walls could talk they’d say: 'Clean me.'"
"I'm not gonna tell you politicians how to do politics... that's not my job. That would be like you guys telling me what to do with my body, like, can you imagine?"
"So to some viewers watching on CSPAN: 'hello.' But to most viewers watching CSPAN: 'meow.'"
"I took AmTrak here and it was way more luxurious than I thought. Did you know they have massage seats? All you have to do is sit in from of Joe Biden."
"[The Secret Service is] the only law enforcement agency in the country that will get in trouble if a black man gets shot."
"Paris is so beautiful, Mr. President. You should really think about going there sometime... I hear the weather is nice in January…"
"For those who don't know, a Libertarian is just a Republican you have to block on Twitter."
"Hillary's campaign slogan is 'It's your time,' which is what I assume what she says to herself in the mirror every morning as she deadlifts 200 pounds."
"The Republicans finally succeeded, and Obama is being forced out of office in 18 months. You did it!!"
"Mr. President thank you so much for taking time away from Jimmy Kimmel to be here ... After six years in office your approval rating is at 60 percent and your gray hair is at 80 percent ... You’re a lot like Madonna — you're both giving the country so much, but in like a year and a half. You've gotta stop."
I don't know about you, but I'm off to sign the petition for Cecily to host the 2016 WHCD, because once clearly was not enough.