Life

Men Draw And Describe The "Perfect Vagina"

If you could be a fly on the wall of any room, which room would you choose? Would you choose the wall of the restaurant where your ex is on a date with someone new? Maybe you'd listen in on what your friends say about you when you're not there, or fly straight to the Oval Office. Maybe you'd be a fly on the wall while men were asked to describe and draw their ideal vagina? Hey, it could happen. We're curious beings. I'm sure men want to know more about the ~mysterious~ organ that is the vagina. Well, we just watched men try to describe and draw their ideal vagina and while I'll give them credit for not using any vagina euphemisms, it was still pretty weird.

To this video's credit, it's awesome that we're encouraging open conversation about vaginas and sex in general. All about that. However, watching men talk about vaginas is uncomfortable on a lot of levels. The men aren't rude, but they sound so painfully clued out that it makes me awkwardly squirm in my chair a little bit. If I were to change a few things about this video, I would have:

  1. Told the gentlemen to think through their answers before opening their mouths.
  2. Added a female perspective from someone who has a vagina and is attracted to women.
  3. Limited their super awkward hand gestures. Please.

Anyway, for anyone who is capable of not cringing, here's the video of men describing and drawing their ideal vagina:

I think we can all agree that the whole viewing experience was...well...unlike anything else we've seen lately. I'm honestly a little torn: In some parts I thought the guys were very respectful, and at other times, I was insanely concerned about the words coming out of their mouths.

After watching this video, here are 10 phrases I never want to hear again:

1. "Diamond shaped"

"Shine bright like a diamond" has a whole new meaning now. And I just can't deal with it. Our poor diamond shaped friend isn't getting laid anytime soon.

2. "Vaginal expectations"

Absolutely not a thing a man should ever say.

3. "Vaginal disposition"

I've never stopped to consider these implications before today, but I am left feeling very awkward and empty inside.

4. "Disinterested vaginas"

....That's on you, man.

5. "Unwilling vaginas make me really uncomfortable."

Sir, you make me SO INCREDIBLY uncomfortable. Bye.

6. "Two lines and a circle"

Oh, mon ami. No woman you've ever been with has had a real orgasm. You're missing some key parts. Sorry you had to find out this way.

Here are the 3 (yeah, there's only 3) things I approved of in this video:

1. The man who said, "I'm not ready for this."

Thank you for your honesty.

2. This conversation:

"It's got its own unique flaws and personality."

"That was beautiful man."

Fine. I admit it. That was hilarious.

3. "I accept the vagina however it is."

With appreciation. Good for you, dude.

Overall, after hearing the curator emphasize the whole "vagina of their dreams" concept, I have to say: Gentlemen, dream better.

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Images: YouTube; Giphy (5)