Starbucks Frappuccino Cookies Are So Meta I Almost Don't Know What To Do With Them

Man — this has sure been a busy spring for Starbucks, hasn't it? First the Birthday Cake Frappuccino; then the kale smoothies; then the S'mores Frappuccino; then the cookie straws; and now this: Starbucks Frappuccino cookies exist, and you guys? They're so meta that I almost don't know what to do with them. We're talking some serious Inception stuff right here. Cookieception. Frappuception. Frappucookieccinoception. Whatever. Take your pick.

The Frappuccino-shaped sweets appear to have been rolled out along with all the other new offerings the might 'Bux recently added to the menu; however, they do not, unfortunately appear to taste like Frappuccinos. According to Cosmopolitan, they're “standard sugar [cookies]” that are “a bit on the buttery side”; for those curious about the price point, they retail for $2.25.

I'll be honest, though: I'd be more excited about these things if they were actually Frappuccino-flavored. I mean, I realize that “Frappuccino-flavored” is kind of a wide-ranging description; there are so many Frap flavors out there these days (and so many more you can make by hacking the menu) that I don't really know if any single flavor could be called the ULTIMATE Frap flavor. But does anyone else kind of wish they'd add a few bakery items that actually tasted like Frappuccinos to the menu? What about these ideas? Call me, Starbucks; I've got plenty more where these came from.

1. Mocha Frappuccino Scone

A mocha chip scone with a drizzle of coffee cream across the top. Yum.

2. Pumpkin Spice Frapuccino Cake Pop

Coffee and pumpkin spice-flavored cake, all wrapped up in a coating of orange-tinted white chocolate? Yes please!

3. S'mores Frappuccino S'mores

Overkill? Maybe, but I'm still kind of tickled by the idea of an actual S'more with a touch of coffee flavoring to it. Coffee marshmallows? Chocolate with coffee beans in it? A coffee cream drizzle? I'll take 'em all!

4. Green Tea Frappuccino Cookie

A soft-baked cookie infused with matcha and topped with a rich and creamy frosting. Heck yes.

5. Chai Creme Frappuccino Spice Cake

Tired of plain ol' coffee cake? Switch it up with this pick. A light glaze on the top adds the finishing touch.

6. Caramel Ribbon Crunch Frappuccino Bark

I'll admit that I have no idea how this one would actually work. Maybe it would be more like peanut brittle than bark. Whatever — a crunchy, coffee-infused caramel treat still sounds delicious, right?

7. Hazelnut Frappuccino Sandwich Cookie

In my head, it looks like a Whoopie Pie: Chocolate hazelnut cake on the outside, coffee-flavored cream on the inside. WANT.

Images: Starbucks (8)