Men Try (And Fail) To Explain Female Orgasms

I was curious about how this video of guys explaining the female orgasm using art would go down, because let's be real: Every woman orgasms differently. There are certain positions that are better for female orgasm and while learning which positions work for you, you're also trying to learn when you actually orgasm. Some find they rarely orgasm during sex, while other women find it takes them longer to orgasm than their partner. There aren't universal, foolproof ways for females to orgasm, but there are plenty of tips to help get you off during sex. Whatever your orgasm M.O. may be, it's probably a little different from what a man thinks it is. But there's only one way to know for sure, and that's to get him to draw it for you like these guys in a recent BuzzFeed video did.

If you were to ask a man to illustrate your orgasm, what in the name of pizza did you think would actually happen? I mean, if it were me, I'd sort of imagine...glitter? Maybe. Or like, a sun? Actually, I have no idea. I'm just pulling ideas out from nowhere because in all honesty, I wouldn't even want to illustrate a female orgasm, let alone watch a man do it. Like, didn't Georgia O'Keefe do enough? Can't we just casually say that the O'Keefe vagina flowers did their job well and call it a day?

Apparently not. Apparently we also need to see if men can, in fact, recreate an orgasm on canvas.

Here's the video:

This is easily one of the most hilarious sex-related videos I've ever seen. Here are a few things we all learned about sex and female orgasms from these gentlemen:

1. A dick is like a pipe cleaner

Hey, I wasn't the one who said it, okay? Don't shoot the messenger.

2. "A woman's orgasm is a long road trip, and a man's orgasm is a trip to a motel."

... I'm gonna go ahead and agree with this one, actually. That was a very appropriate metaphor, sir.

3. "It's like El Dorado. It's a mystery as old as the sphinx."

This guy's a little fantastical, but I generally like where his head is at. Ancient Egypt refs are always appreciated.

4."It's the 2001 space Odyssey."


5. "There's a kind of rising and falling action."

This coming from the same man who made the female orgasm into a three act play. It's like Shakespeare, really.

6. An orgasm is a "vast metaphysical experience"

How much does everything he says remind you of Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure?

7. "Is the boy who's born blind jealous of the one who can see?"

I'M SO CONFUSED. Is the blind boy a male orgasm and the one who can see the female orgasm? Can someone please explain what the hell is going on to me?

8. "Art's a breakthrough, so is an orgasm."

But the problem with that is that according to this gentleman, after the male orgasm break through there's a break down and then you get sad. This is sounding pretty depressing. I like this guy, but he's a real downer.

9. "Women are planets. Men are just shooting stars."

That's way existential.

Images: YouTube, Giphy (5)