'Last Vegas' and Movies Like It Need to Die, But They're Still Going Strong

Guys, I shouldn't even have to tell you not to see Last Vegas. It's the sleepy, stereotypically geriatric version of The Hangover, and just because it features an all-star Academy Award-winning cast does not change that. I don't care if you love old dudes and the whole "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" movie motif; this is your chance to be socially responsible. If you keep going to see these types of movies, more will be made, and then literally everyone – the actors involved, the viewing public, the unsuspecting television watchers who can't fast-forward through commercials – will suffer. Is that what you want?

I have no problem with films about or for the older crowd. Something's Gotta Give is undeniably one of the best romantic comedies ever made, and even lesser features like Hope Springs have their charm. But Last Vegas isn't bringing anything new to the table, or improving on its genre in anyway. The whole premise of the film is "look, old men are going to party it up in Las Vegas as if they were young! They're so out-of-touch and flatulent, and they're going to try and pick up chicks, ha-ha-ha!" No. Just stop Last Vegas. I mean, the title alone should be enough to make you tear out your hair and yell "Oh brother!"

My beef with Last Vegas is not simply that it's a bad idea for a movie, but that it's part of an increasingly popular trend of using older actors in the least imaginative, most cliche ways possible. In the last few years, Old Dogs, Hot Tub Time Machine, and Grown Ups have relied on the same tired comedy tropes Hollywood has been recycling for years, passing them off as new, relevant, or interesting because they appeal to an older set. These are terrible movies that reinforce social anxieties about aging without the benefit of self-reflection, and then teach men the way to cope with them is to embrace immature, youthful behaviors. Grown Ups and Hot Tub Time Machine weren't even about elderly men, and yet, they follow the same model. Being older makes you grosser, sadder, and more nostalgic for bygone days. We get it.

So how can you help end this trend? The answer is simple: stop watching these movies. Yes, that means even if they're airing on your 12-hour flight. And for the love of God, don't go see them in theaters. Grown Ups earned a whopping $271,430,189 at the box office, and its sequel, Grown Ups 2 made $238,927,605. Shockingly, the infinitely appalling Robin Williams-helmed Old Dogs earned a very respectable $96,753,696 at the box office and saw strong DVD sales (seriously, who needed to own this movie?). Hot Tub Time Machine faired the worst, grossing $61,336,869, which is still double its production budget. In other words, production companies see a limp, disappointing script like the one for Last Vegas and see dollar signs, and we all suffer for it. But if for some reason, you can't resist the temptation of seeing the movie this weekend, look at this gif. It's the only part worth seeing, which as you can see, is kinda sad.