Are These Dog Toys Or Sex Toys? Let's Play The Most Disturbing Game Ever, And Then Never Look Our Dogs In The Eye Again — VIDEO
College Humor's video asking whether you can tell if an item is a dog toy or a sex toy may sound weird at first, but hang in there and give it a minute, because it's totally valid: dog toys and sex toys inexplicably often look a lot alike. I don't know why, and I don't want to know why, but they just do. And sometimes, it's not just dog toys that confuse people. I once had a relative, who shall remain nameless, who didn't realized she had bought a vibrator. She got it at Brookstone (aka, that place in the mall you go to buy a vibrator because sex shops scare you) but unlike, say, the 95% of people who bought this "personal massager," she didn't realize exactly how personal it was meant to be. The coup de grâce of this whole incredibly awkward fact was when she brought it out one Christmas when one of us complained of a stiff neck. To this day I don't know if she knows exactly what insanity went down on Baby Jesus' birthday that year.
But in defense of dog toy vs. sex toy: this is trickier. I played this game with some people just now. I won (because I am a pervert), and the other people got 3/5 and 2/5 answers correct. As a group, I wouldn't say we're Pollyannas or completely ignorant of the world of sex toys (or dog toys, for that matter) but there were a few that were genuinely tricky. This one, for example:
See, I look at this and I automatically just assumed "Okay, this is a double-dildo on the shorter side," but no. This is a dog toy. This is given in good faith and conscience to beloved puppies to chew on. I mean... I just feel like that would be really uncomfortable to A) purchase from any kind of store, because the person checking you out must also be thinking that this looks like a sex toy and B) watching your dog chew it up (especially if you're a dude); Even the dog probably recognizes that this looks like a sex toy. Like, could you make eye contact with your dog while she had this in her mouth? I couldn't. I definitely couldn't, and I have seen a family member put a thinly disguised vibrator on another family member's neck in the glow of a Christmas tree.
How well do you do? Play along with the video below
Apparently, College Humor are not the only ones who want to play this admittedly valid guessing game: Barkpost also took up the good fight to prove that humans and dogs like to get down with surprisingly similar toys:
Images: Getty Images; YouTube