It’s nearly time to return to Pretty Little Liars land for Season 6, and I am still trying to wrap my head around that doozy of a Season 5 finale. So, apparently, is the whole of the Internet, because there are some pretty crazy Pretty Little Liars Charles theories going around on the web. Just to catch anyone up who missed the biggest moment in all of PLL history, in the Season 5 finale, we viewers learned that Charles DiLaurentis (who is presumably the brother of Jason and Ali) is Big A, and he is now keeping all of the liars (plus Mona) in a weird, underground bunker (unfortunately, it’s not even headed by Jon Hamm, Kimmy Schmidt-style) and he making them go to prom — his old prom, presumably. Natasha Bedingfield is involved. Seriously. It’s weird.
Because I. Marlene King has revealed so little about Charles, we, the fans, have been forced to come to our own conclusions. But that’s one of the best things about being the fan of a show like Pretty Little Liars — the fans are totally obsessed, and they’re so into theories and rewatching and speculation that it adds a whole new element to the show. But while some fan theories seem like they could be wind up being the real thing, others, well, don't. There are more than a few ideas that are totally and completely off base. Like outer space off base.
So without further ado, here are the weirdest Charles identity theories I could find, along with a handy scale to measure just how possible they each are: Scale of 1 to 5, with one meaning “over Ali’s dead body” and five meaning “as sure as Mona is alive.”
Charles Is Toby’s Dad & Mrs. DiLaurentis’ Brother: 0/5
Nope. Sorry. Not gonna happen. PLLTheories.com posits that Mrs. DiLaurentis and an older Charles are actually the twins spoken about on the show, and Charles is Toby’s real dad, which would explain why Toby became a cop — to investigate his real dad’s murder at the hands of his twin sister, Jessica DiLaurentis. Not only do the ages not work out for this one, it literally makes no sense. I tried. I'm just not with you on this one.
Andrew Is Charles: 1/5
A Buzzfeed reader submission claimed that Andrew Campbell, Aria’s new beau and a classmate of the liars, has been Charles this whole time. He’s been waiting for the right moment to get the girls, and now he has them in his underground lair. This is a total red herring. I repeat: This is a total red herring. We learned in the Season 5 finale that Mrs. DiLaurentis used to take her children to the Campbell Farm, which is where we saw Toby and Detective Tanner looking for the liars. Campbell Farm is Andrew’s family farm, natch. Here's the thing: This theory isn't crazy; what's crazy is how easy this Charles identity solution is. I don’t think it's that simple.
Ezra Fitz Is Charles: 2/5
Tumblr prettylittlethe0ry has a great one: Ezra and Charles are actually the same person. I mean, come on. That’s great. And that’s not just because I hate Ezra and especially hate Ezra and Aria as a couple. Having Ezra be A would be wonderful, because so many people thought he was A all along. What if he was A the whole time and the book thing and him getting shot was just to really throw everyone off the scent him as Big A? What a great turn of events that would be. The only problem? Given the evidence we have, it doesn’t seem feasible. Ezra’s been burned by A, but there's always the chance that he’s taking a page from the Dan Humphrey-is-Gossip-Girl handbook.
Charles Is Also Trapped In The Bunker Dollhouse: 3/5
PLLCrazyness speculated on Tumblr that perhaps, since he clearly has his own decorated room, Charles is another prisoner in that weird underground bunker that the liars are being held in. After all, why is Charles leaving his things for the liars to find? And how would he not know about how the power goes out? This theory states that Charles isn’t the real mastermind because he’s not smart enough to be. I really, really like this theory, because it just shows how far King is willing to go to play with our minds. Charles is A, everybody: Just kidding! Charles is a scapegoat. It's kind of insane, but I think this theory is actually pretty plausible, given the show’s track record.
Jason Is Charles: 4/5
PLLClips.com (along with a few others) have a theory that Jason DiLaurentis is actually Charles: He's been hiding in plain sight this whole time! I actually really like this theory because, if you're a fan of the Pretty Little Liars book series, you know that Ali and Vivian Darkbloom are actually twins, and Vivian (aka the crazy twin) took over Ali's life when she died. Jason as Charles would be a nice callback to the series that started it all, don't you think?
Aria & Charles Are Working Together: 4/5
Tumblr user VanillaPizza22 speculates that liar Aria is actually working with Charles to bring down her friends. Love it. I mean, there’s been talk since, um, day one about Aria and/or Ezra being A, so having them both work together to take down the liars is a really interesting thought. Aria definitely has secrets, and she’s also the liar who is consistently least affected by A’s games. Why so safe, Aria?
Of course, the truly crazy things are whatever is going down in Pretty Little Liars Season 6. Have you seen those Maddie Ziegler instagrams? Luckily, June 2 is only a few weeks away.
Images: Eric McCandless/ABC Family; Giphy (6)