The Biebz Is Ready To Settle Down

Smack dab in the middle of his wild-oat-sowing years, the Biebz wants us to believe that he's looking for someone to spend the rest of his life with. Pssht. Sure, dude. In his Seventeen magazine profile for their June/July issue, Justin Bieber says he wants his next girlfriend to be a lady he could envision himself settling down with. Also, anyone less than a 10 need not apply.

Bieber continues his contrition campaign in the interview by providing us with many more sound bites about how sorry he is for all that not-so-great behavior. "I was rebelling a little bit. I was getting cockier and cockier," said Bieber. "I didn’t have people to check me. I looked back and I was disappointed in myself." He stresses that he's ready to turn over a proverbial new leaf and stop with the shenanigans.

One step is finding a girlfriend who's a good influence. Ya know, a suitable wifey type whose finger he can affix with a ring some day. How does he picture this maiden in his mind's eye? Well, she makes him feel safe, she's honest, and she makes him feel healthy. Plus, it's mandatory that she's a TOTAL dime piece. He said,

In a girl, I want someone who’s confident in herself and honest. I have to find her very attractive and as someone I can see myself with for the rest of my life.

Given the above description, I'm just imagining Justin Bieber's Tinder bio saying that he's seeking a beautiful soul to become one with for eternity. Below that, it would say something like "ALL APPLICANTS MUST BE CONVENTIONAL STUNNAZ."

I'm not faulting Bieber for wanting to be with a person he finds himself attracted to. Ideally, we should all be attracted to the people we find ourselves in relationships with. But because we're talking about Justin Bieber here, I can't help but think he's talking exclusively about physical attractiveness. And if you're still 21 and citing this as one of your primary relationship qualifications, odds are you aren't ready to spend the rest of your life with someone. 'Cause at that stage of the game, when you're in your youthful physical prime, you don't quite realize that the rest of your life means aging and, with it, changing appearances. Maybe when the Biebz's marble-cut physique succumbs to dad bod, he'll understand.

Image: Getty Images