Guys Share The Weirdest Things About Having A Penis, So Buckle Up, We're Taking A Ride On The Magic Schlong Bus

Penises. They've often been a source of mystery for those of us who don't have them. How awkward is it to get a random erection? How much would it really hurt to get hit in those nether regions? Is it hard to walk with that thingy between your legs? Where does it go when you put on pants? Even if you didn't ask, the internet answered: A bunch of guys shared the weirdest thing about their penis on Reddit.

Just as those who don't have vaginas might be curious about what that might feel like, those of us who don't have penises are curious too. Fortunately, one user took to Reddit to pose a question prompting penis-owners to share the strange and bizarre encounters they've had because of their member: "Guys, what's some weird things that you have to deal with because you have a penis?" Reddit user utakla asked. "I've heard a couple of stories of some horrible and weird things, but I'm really interested to know more about the male struggle."

Well, ask and ye shall receive. Here are some of the answers from the AskReddit:

Dessert_menu:

Constantly readjusting your member. If it sticks or isn't in a comfortable spot, it's annoying as hell. Problem is there is no real discreet way to solve this problem in public besides the ol' casual hand-slip-into-pantpocket to move it to a better position. Our lives are so tough.

bonerwashington:

In fifth grade I discovered I could use my dick to make a pencil move off of my lap. Delighted, I demonstrated this to the girl at the desk beside mine. She immediately brought this prank to the attention of the class, and within seconds the teacher demanded that I take whatever it was out of my pants. After a very long silence during which the part of me that was innocent and fun died forever, he went back to teaching fractions or whatever.

Life is f***ing great.

buffalog:

Honestly, the worst thing is when I sit down to take a dump and my penis sometimes accidentally grazes the inside of the toilet bowl. It is single handedly the most disgusting toilet related thing that happens to me on a semi-regular basis. It's always in the morning when I'm too tired to concentrate that it happens. Ugh.

redefine19:

Not having the opportunity to pee after sex/masturbation can lead to the last few drops dribbling out and into your pants half an hour later.

admiralranga:

Finding a long hair (either mine or gfs) wrapped around the head of my penis under my foreskin

El_Hoxo:

When you're 6'4" so hugging somebody essentially means shoving your dick into their stomach

Ucalegon666:

If you're not circumcised and you have pubes, you can end up in the dreaded pube-under-foreskin situation. Where a pube gets under your foreskin, kind of cuts into the head all the while pulling the hair out. It's uncomfortable.

Edit: thanks, stranger <3

Well, there you have it. Penises.

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