In the beginning, there was phone ordering. Then came online delivery, and finally, the age of the emoji order is upon us: As of next week, you can order Domino's by tweeting a pizza emoji. Yes, you read that right. Next time you're too hungry and cranky to form coherent sentences out of the swirling maelstrom of your famished thoughts, you can just tweet the pizza emoji to the Domino's account, and the company will answer your wordless cry for help with a pizza delivered right to your door. If you don't think that is the single greatest thing to happen in 2015 so far, you need to reevaluate your priorities and give pizza the importance it deserves.Unfortunately, mind-reading technology hasn't been developed yet — though not for lack of trying on Pizza Hut's part — so the "Easy Order" system does require a little forethought. According to the Telegraph, users have to register an account on the Domino's website. After creating a profile, customers register their address as well as their favorite pizza, so they don't have to answer pesky questions about "toppings" and "methods of payment" when ordering. Once you've set up the account, all you have to do is tweet the pizza emoji at the Domino's account, or use the hashtag #EasyOrder, to get a pizza without ever having to speak to another human being. It may be an extrovert's world, but the Internet sure does make it easy to be a hermit.
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"We've got this down to a five-second exchange," Domino's CEO Patrick Doyle told USA Today, demonstrating an excellent understanding of the kinds of people that will use Easy Order (antisocial, hangry twentysomethings). Considering that half of Domino's sales come from online ordering anyway, moving to Twitter isn't actually that big a leap. Best, or possibly worst, of all, it's practically made for drunk ordering at 2 a.m. When ordering pizza is literally as easy as tweeting an emoji, don't even try to tell me your tipsy self can resist that kind of convenience. I'm already trying to figure out ways to lock myself out of Twitter after a few drinks, à la Tony Stark and his suits in Iron Man 2. If there's one thing all drunk people have in common, it's a deep and boundless love for pizza.
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The ordering system rolls out on May 20, so prepare your bank accounts accordingly. And if you haven't downloaded the emoji keyboard yet, this is the perfect opportunity...although if you don't use emojis by now, you're probably not the type to order pizza through Twitter. You also may need to reconsider your life choices, because really? You don't have emojis yet?
Images: Giphy (2)