How To Become A Gilmore Girl Just Like Rory & Lorelai, In 13 Easy Steps
Do you still daydream about Luke Danes? Do you refuse to learn how to cook on principle? Are you in a committed relationship with coffee? Then you are well on your way to becoming a Gilmore Girls-approved Gilmore girl. Don't get ahead of yourself, though: Just because you possess some of the attributes of a Gilmore girl, this does not mean you're ready to fully commit to the lifestyle. If one truly wants to live life the Gilmore way, sacrifices must be made (no more vegetables), love lives must become complicated, and you will almost definitely have to relocate to an adorable little town on the east coast that has festivals for every occasion and holiday in the year (that is, if you don't already live in one — and if you do, are you looking for a roommate?).
If you are prepared to start talking faster than a '40s screwball comedy character and become BFFs with your mom, then proceed. I have compiled a step-by-step guide to help you on your path to getting Gilmore'd. This process will not be easy, but in the end, all of your Gilmore girl dreams will be fulfilled (aside from Rory and Jess having beautiful, hyper-literate babies... there are some things that simply can never be).
So, pour yourself a nice, tall mug of coffee, and let us begin your journey from boring normal life to Stars Hallow resident.
Step 1: Drink All The Coffee
The true caffeine tolerance of a Gilmore girl is unknown. However, many suspect they can drink more coffee daily than an entire café full of patrons can. You must increase your tolerance slowly to avoid... well, getting sick.
Step 2: Become Best Friends With Your Mother
You probably already love your mom, but that is not good enough. You'll need basically attach yourself to her at the hip, watch all of the same movies, share the most intimate and minute details of your life with her, eat junk food with her, and make her the center of your world. Nothing less will do.
Step 3: Make Junk Food Your Diet's Primary Food Group
Vegetables are for the Taylors of the world. Gilmore girls eat pizza, marshmallows, and Pop Tarts — and that's just for breakfast.
Step 4: Brush Up On Obscure Pop Culture References
Have you ever seen The Donna Reed Show? How many Godfather references can you make? Are you familiar with the goddess Molly Ringwald? A true Gilmore girl is well-versed in pop culture, past and present.
Step 5: Find A Quirky Best Friend
Preferably one who is either a chef or really into music — it is also possible to convert your current best friend into your quirky best friend if they are willing to take on these new hobbies.
Step 6: Increase Your Words Per Minute Speaking Time
If you think you talk fast, just think of Lorelai and remember there is always room for improvement.
Step 7: Move To A Small Town
You can try these Connecticut towns on for size first. If those don't work for you, try to find a place where all of the residents are endearingly eccentric and very interested in your personal life.
Step 8: Make Sure The Small Town Has At Least One Festival Per Month
This is imperative: the small town you move to needs to have dance marathons, Civil War reenactments, ice cream queens... pretty much a celebration for every major and obscure holiday imaginable.
Step 9: Fall In Love With A Sweet Guy. Do Not Do Anything About it for at Least Five Years
Don't worry — you can date other people in the meantime. Just remember, they are not the one.
Step 10: Find A Diner And Become A Regular
Make sure you like the diner, because in addition to being your main source of sustenance, it will also be your second home.
Step 11: Spend Every Friday Night With Your Grandparents
Yes, this is non-negotiable.
Step 12: More Books
Gilmore girls are very literate people. (Don't worry, you do not have to read Proust. But at least settle for a Baby-Sitter's Club book.)
Step 13: Surround Yourself With Amazing Women
It's the true Gilmore way.
Now go make Rory and Lorelai proud — and don't forget to order take-out!