Cheeseburger Oreos Don't Actually Exist, Thank Goodness, But We Wish These 5 Flavors Did

To be completely honest, Cheeseburger Oreos sound awful (not to mention offensive to people who keep kosher); as such, I'm not shedding any tears that the rumors about them potentially coming into existence turned out to be just, well, rumors. They're not real, so Cheeseburger Oreos can go die in the sad corner of the Internet where they came from, without besmirching the good name of my favorite cookie. OK, second favorite — I'm a sucker for Newman O's.

What is it with Oreo hoaxes? People love a good, fake, repulsive-sounding Oreo. Just last year we had Fried Chicken Oreogate, with the story about Fried Chicken Oreos sweeping the Internet. It followed a similar trajectory to the Cheeseburger Oreo: People freaked out, the myth was debunked, and then everyone moved on. But you know what? Every time I read about an upsetting, fake Oreo flavor, a little part of me dies. Why do we insist on dreaming up gross savory cookies? All it's going to do is send the good (well, occasionally good) people of the Internet into a frenzy.

Here's a crazy idea: What if instead of thinking up disgusting, pretend Oreo recipes, we harness our imaginative capacity for the forces of good? Let's come up with a comprehensive wish list of dream Oreo flavors, and then release them out into the world via Twitter. I'm officially starting the hashtag #DreamOreo (alternatively #BreakTheOreo). Lets start a movement! Inundate Oreo with delicious flavor options. Make them an offer they can't refuse! Consult this list first, though, so we don't tell them to make something that already exist.

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Here's my list of dream Oreo flavors:

1. Sea Salt Caramel

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They've already done a chocolate and dulce de leche Oreo (it was only released in Chile and Argentina, I know, I know #DontCryForMeArgentina), so this one really isn't that out of the realm of possibilities. All they have to do is use a caramel cream on the inside and add a bit of sea salt to the cookie recipe.

2. Mocha

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Adding a little coffee flavor to the cookies would totally work, and then it would be like a delicious, creamy cup of coffee all in one bite. Extra points if they can figure out how to make them caffeinated so I can stop drinking coffee and just eat mocha Oreos instead.

3. Cinnamon Roll

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Cinnamon and chocolate is a natural combination, and just imagine how good the cream would be if it were speckled with cinnamon and nutmeg. It could be the new holiday Oreo. It could be the PSL of Oreos ( I know they actually had a Pumpkin Spice Oreo, but it was aggressively fake-pumpkin flavored and I was not on board).

4. Spicy

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Hear me out: Adding a little bit of chile powder to the cookie recipe would elevate Oreos to a whole new level. I'm not saying your eyes should water, but you should have a little bit of a mouth tingle when you take a bite.

5. Coconut

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Think Mounds bar in Oreo form: Make the filling coconut flavored for a tropical Oreo delight. M&Ms already got on board with the whole coconut thing, so there's no reason why Oreo can't.

There you have it! My list of dream Oreos. Add your own to the list and let the world know what you want your cookies to taste like.

Images: Giphy (6)