The 9 Stages Of Teaching Yourself The 'Oops!... I Did It Again' Dance

Listen, I was a fairly social kid, but in spite of that, a significant chunk of my childhood was spent in my basement, in front of my big screen TV, tirelessly mimicking the dance moves of my teen pop idols. Sure, I could have done other normal 90’s kid things, like hopped around my block with my neon colored, light up Skip-It or traded Pokemon cards with my grubby pawed, card shark friends, but this particular hobby was of a greater import. Anybody who was anybody knew the dances to Britney Spears’s songs, and I was hell bent on being one of those cool peeps.

Considering there weren’t many people I knew that didn’t also feel this insatiable need to do everything Brit Brit did, I assume you, fellow nostalgic millennial, can relate. And let’s be real here, there was no dance more intricate or difficult to exact than that of the, “Oops!… I Did It Again” music video. A painstaking amount of time and effort went into just trying to get the moves down pat, regardless of the level of skill that the end product was delivered with. But I don’t need to tell you that, fellow aspiring Britney Jean. You know the struggle, you know it well.

In honor of the 15th (Yes, a decade and a HALF) since the debut of the Oops!… I Did It Again album, let me recall all of the stages of trying to learn that damned dance of the same name.

BritneySpearsVEVO on YouTube

Stage 1: Overconfident Anticipation

Um, you've seen it on VH1 pop up video 5,000 times and you've taped it... you've got this. So shut up, Tiffany. It's not that hard.

Stage 2: The Ambitious Attempt

Britney:

You:

Leotard on, scrunchie firmly in place, let's do this.

*Inserts VHS* *Rolls Eyes* *Keeps Index Finger On Rewind Button Until Oblivion*

OK, so I just put my arm here and I put my hip in the totally other direction. Sounds... painful...

Stage 3: Frantic Movements

Britney:

You:

Keep up, keep up, keep uppppppp!

Stage 4: Relief

Britney:

You:

Nailed it. The one step in the entire dance that requires little to no skill.

Stage 5: Soldiering On

Britney:

You:

5,6,7,8 and turn! *Stumbles* *Turns into 8 yr old Abby Lee Miller*

NO. IT'S NOT. PERFECT. AGAIN. ...FROM THE TOP!

Stage 6: Pure Exhaustion

Britney:

You:

That's... that's good enough. *Heaves* *Falls to knees*

Stage 7: The "End is nigh" Reinvigoration

Britney:

You:

*Gets back up* *Cranes neck to look at sister*

You: "Am I doing it right?!"

Sister: "Eh."

Stage 8: Getting the Hang of It

Britney:

You:

*Disowns sister* *Stares at "Dance Like No One Is Watching" poster on basement wall* *Complies*

Stage 9: Ending Strong

Britney:

You:

Give it * Heavy breathing* All you've *Heavier breathing* Got *Wheezing*

AND, POSE.

Finished Product:

Britney:

Flawless.

You:

Flawed.

Images: BritneySpearsVEVO/Youtube (10); Giphy (9)