Entertainment
9 Stages Of Learning 'Oops... I Did It Again'
Listen, I was a fairly social kid, but in spite of that, a significant chunk of my childhood was spent in my basement, in front of my big screen TV, tirelessly mimicking the dance moves of my teen pop idols. Sure, I could have done other normal 90’s kid things, like hopped around my block with my neon colored, light up Skip-It or traded Pokemon cards with my grubby pawed, card shark friends, but this particular hobby was of a greater import. Anybody who was anybody knew the dances to Britney Spears’s songs, and I was hell bent on being one of those cool peeps.
Considering there weren’t many people I knew that didn’t also feel this insatiable need to do everything Brit Brit did, I assume you, fellow nostalgic millennial, can relate. And let’s be real here, there was no dance more intricate or difficult to exact than that of the, “Oops!… I Did It Again” music video. A painstaking amount of time and effort went into just trying to get the moves down pat, regardless of the level of skill that the end product was delivered with. But I don’t need to tell you that, fellow aspiring Britney Jean. You know the struggle, you know it well.
In honor of the 15th (Yes, a decade and a HALF) since the debut of the Oops!… I Did It Again album, let me recall all of the stages of trying to learn that damned dance of the same name.
Stage 1: Overconfident Anticipation
Um, you've seen it on VH1 pop up video 5,000 times and you've taped it... you've got this. So shut up, Tiffany. It's not that hard.
Stage 2: The Ambitious Attempt
Britney:
You:
Leotard on, scrunchie firmly in place, let's do this.
*Inserts VHS* *Rolls Eyes* *Keeps Index Finger On Rewind Button Until Oblivion*
OK, so I just put my arm here and I put my hip in the totally other direction. Sounds... painful...
Stage 3: Frantic Movements
Britney:
You:
Keep up, keep up, keep uppppppp!
Stage 4: Relief
Britney:
You:
Nailed it. The one step in the entire dance that requires little to no skill.
Stage 5: Soldiering On
Britney:
You:
5,6,7,8 and turn! *Stumbles* *Turns into 8 yr old Abby Lee Miller*
NO. IT'S NOT. PERFECT. AGAIN. ...FROM THE TOP!
Stage 6: Pure Exhaustion
Britney:
You:
That's... that's good enough. *Heaves* *Falls to knees*
Stage 7: The "End is nigh" Reinvigoration
Britney:
You:
*Gets back up* *Cranes neck to look at sister*
You: "Am I doing it right?!"
Sister: "Eh."
Stage 8: Getting the Hang of It
Britney:
You:
*Disowns sister* *Stares at "Dance Like No One Is Watching" poster on basement wall* *Complies*
Stage 9: Ending Strong
Britney:
You:
Give it * Heavy breathing* All you've *Heavier breathing* Got *Wheezing*
AND, POSE.
Finished Product:
Britney:
Flawless.
You:
Flawed.
