'The Bach' Has A Love Doctor In The House

It's basically a given that plenty of the contestants on The Bachelorette will have absolutely absurd job titles, which is part of the reason why the very first episode of the season is my favorite one to watch. And thanks to the bios that have already been released on ABC's website, it seems obvious that the 2015 season of The Bachelorette isn't going to let us down. Prime example: Bachelorette Contestant Shawn E., whose job title is "Amateur Sex Coach." What does that even mean? In the past, there have been people with stranger jobs ("free spirit," anyone?), but Shawn's actually exists. After a little bit of research, I've found that sex coaches are a real thing — but keep in mind that Shawn is still just an amateur.

According to WebMD — which is actually a solid source of information when you're not freaking out if the mild headache you have is actually a brain aneurysm — sex coaches are actually therapists who specialize in sex. Sounds simple enough, right? And no, most sex therapists aren't bedside. They are there to listen to your concerns and issues and offer help that way.

If that's what you're looking for, though, that's an option too. Much less common are sex coaches who actually observe couples having sex, but they are a thing. Their role is to be there when the couple using their services gets it on and points out how they could be doing things better, and occasionally will help patients shop for sex toys and can provide tips tailored to the way he or she sees the couple relate to each other in the bedroom. If this sounds interesting to you, give this GQ interview with sex coach Eric Amaranth a read. It's pretty fascinating stuff!

Obviously, sex coaches can play a necessary role in many couples' love lives, and it's awesome that they exist. However, as far as Shawn E.'s concerned, I'm not yet convinced he's actually a sex coach, especially because the word "amateur" is part of his job title. Amateurs are, by definition, not employed to the thing they do. According to the all-knowing Reality Steve, Shawn is actually a real estate agent in London, Ontario and a single father training to get his pilot's license — nothing related to sex there. Though I have to ask, why didn't he go with "Amateur Pilot"?

Shawn E., please don't just be calling yourself a sex coach to be cheeky. Because you are a real estate agent and somebody's dad, and if you are just saying you're a sex coach because you like sex and think you're a hilarious 32-year-old frat boy, I think your daughter is going to be mighty humiliated when she's finally old enough to watch these episodes.

I suppose all will be revealed during Monday night's episode! In the meantime, my fingers are crossed that Shawn doesn't incorporate his dream profession into his limo entrance. I have the sneaking suspicious that neither Britt nor Kaitlyn would find that amusing this early in the game.

Images: Craig Sjodin/ABC; Giphy