This Cupcake Car Is Not The 'Bach's Worst Intro

by Lindsey Kupfer

The double Bachelorettes are here and it’s finally time for us to sit back with our rosé and enjoy the limo entrances. Don’t get me wrong, there have been some great Bachelor/Bachelorette limo entrances in the past, but the majority of them are pretty cheesy and awful. On Kaitlyn and Britt’s season of The Bachelorette, one guy name Chris drives up to the mansion in a cupcake car. Yes, a cupcake car. Of course, Chris is a dentist too, which means that there’s some weird joke about keeping your teeth clean and sugar or something. Dentist humor is generally pretty awkward. But while this introduction isn’t the best, it's got competition: The streets of Bachelor Nation are paved with other terrible, awkward limo entrances.

This includes a competing bad decision on Kaitlyn & Britt's season. I want to address, no — need to address this, because if there's anything more ill-advised than driving a cupcake car to the limo entrance, driving a hot tub car instead. In theory, a hot tub car seems like an awesome idea... until it’s so not. Imagine driving down LA’s 405 highway in a hot tub. Just think about that for like 15 seconds. I don’t even like sitting in a bath for more than 10 minutes and no where in L.A. takes 10 minutes. So I’m just saying, not only was this dude super wet in his suit, but he had to have been pruning pretty badly by the time he got through the line-up. Still, dude probably caught the Bachelorettes' attention, so maybe I'm the one who's off her rocker.

So, in honor of these Bachelorette suitors and their awkward automotive innovations, here are the eight most insane Bachelor/Bachelorette limo entrances — lord knows, these are the reason we're staring down the barrel of an mechanical birthday party pastry this season.

1. Tara's Double Intro From Chris Soules’ Season

She walked out in cut-off jeans and cowboy boots only to go back in the limo to come out again in a fancy dress to re-introduce herself. It was seriously awkward and while Chris laughed it off, he later sent her packing. (It also didn’t help that he was uncomfortable with how drink she got at the cocktail party.)

2. Brittney's Grandma Loved Ben Flajnik

She brought her grandma along to step out of the limo and pretend to be Ben's potential new girlfriend before pulling a switcheroo and introducing herself. Brilliant move, Brit; people usually don’t say "no" to grandmas.

3. Brett Loved Lamp... And Also Andi Dorfman

The hairstylist who stole a lamp from his hotel and brought it to Andi tried to explain himself ("tried" being the key word here). “My mother always told me, never greet a lady empty-handed,” he said before Andi insisted he give that lamp back to the hotel. Dude, even a $4 bottle of Yellowtail Merlot would have been better than a lamp. *SMH*

4. When Emil Brought Up Anal Within Minutes Of Meeting Andi Dorfman

He told her his name was like “Anal, but with an M. Just remember that.” …and she did. We all did.

5. Jonathan's Premature Fantasy Suite Invite For Desiree Hartsock

So, Jonathan gets out of the limo and hands her an envelope that said “Should you choose to forgo the remaining men, you may choose to proceed with Jonathan directly to the Fantasy Suite.” Ahhhh. So. Uncomfortable. Her response? “I’m not that kind of girl.” And that’s why we love Des — she wasn't going to play along with this weird game just to seem amenable.

6. Clare's Suprise Pregnancy On Juan Pablo’s Season

To be fair, I love Clare now, but when she showed up with a fake pregnant belly, I wasn't so sure. She jokingly told JP, "I know you have a daughter, and I know you want more children, and I was thinking maybe adding to it!" She told him it was fake and tried to laugh it off, but if the guy wasn’t Juan Pablo, she probably wouldn’t have made it past night one with that intro.

7. Lindsay Says "I Do!" To Sean Lowe

She came out of the limo in a wedding dress. An actual, honest to goodness wedding dress. Now I know that the point of the show is to fall in love and get married, but with any other man on this show (or any man not on this show) this kind of early suggestion would have been met with what I like to call "the Joshua response":

8. Robyn Does Flips For Sean Lowe

OK, so she had all the right intentions showing off her tumbling skills, until she totally flopped and fell over trying to do a back flip. I feel terrible saying that it’s bad, but you have to admit: When a limo entrance becomes some Three Stooges-level accidental slapstick, the situation becomes super cringeworthy.

9. This Suit Of Armor Parading As A Human On Desiree Hartsock’s Season

In case you forgot, there was a guy who wore a full on suit of armor to greet Desiree. Hopefully, he didn’t have to pee while he was walking around in that thing. Desiree's reaction didn't go far past, “You’re so funny.” And Armor-Dude, when people say something’s funny instead of laughing, it’s not actually that funny.

So while the cupcake car is pretty bad, I think it's probably safe to assume the show has brought this on itself.

Images: Rick Rowell/ABC (2); ABC Screenshot (6)