Every Time The 'Mad Men' Finale Made You Think Someone Was Going To Die, Because, "Trudy! Don't Get On That Plane!"
That's it. Mad Men is finally over, everyone. I can't believe that something I spent so long thinking about is all done. What am I going to do without those waking dreams the show made me have on Sunday nights? Am I supposed to just sleep calmly, unperturbed by whether everyone on the show is going to die a tragic death?! Guess so. But when it came to Mad Men 's finale, the show really took advantage of my paranoia. I don't know if it was on purpose or if I just let myself get so far lost in the craziness of this show, but I worried about characters dying constantly during Sunday night's final episode.
And I'm not just talking about Don Draper, or Betty who we know has terminal cancer. There were death threats everywhere. Drugs, planes, that tiny cactus that Pete gave Peggy — OK, maybe not that. But really, almost everything put me on high alert, and I feel pretty confident that I'm not the only one.
Whether you thought the episode was disappointing (really? He made that Coke commercial?) or a fantastic depiction of someone who has long suffered with depression and never really understood it because... why would he?! It's the '60s and people are skeptical about psychological issues as seen in the very first season (the correct reaction) — either way, you probably worried about some people dying during "Person to Person" and these are probably all the times that happened.
Don Drives A Fast Car
It wasn't so much the fear that he would crash that particular car — it was the first scene of the episode, he wasn't going to go that quickly — but if he's car racing at all, it's worrisome. But those worries were put to rest when Don got out of the car and was dressed like a greaser. I never knew Don Draper in a Texas tuxedo was something I needed in my life.
Betty... Has Cancer
Obviously Betty is going to die. Just had to throw this in here because that scene of her coughing and stumbling to the phone in her bedroom was so, so sad.
Don Talks To Sally
Oh no. Oh no no no no. Don't find out now. Not in Utah. Please don't be suicidal. Oh dear god.
Don Talks To Betty
Don Gets Super Schwastey
When those two car racing dudes showed up in Don's room and he was passed out from drinking beer (not even liquor. Ugh. WHAT IS HAPPENING?!), Don driving drunk and killing all of them definitely crossed my mind. Even though he was just supposed to be a lookout, and even thought that would be the worst ending possible.
Don Takes A Plane To Los Angeles
Joan Does Coke
Richard and Joan decided to do some coke (FORESHADOWING!!!!) while on vacation in Florida. If Joan died after doing cocaine, I would've punched a wall.
Richard Does Coke
And he's older than Joan thus it's more of a health risk! (Right?) CUT IT OUT, YOU TWO!
Richard Does Coke Again
Roger Has Sex
We all know Roger once had a heart attack while having sex, so Roger saying, "Are you trying to kill me?" after hooking up with Marie Calvet is not comforting in the least.
Roger Is Old
Roger tells Joan that he's reworking his will and that it will include their son, Kevin. He also makes some other comments about his age, and I'm like, "Ugh. Roger. Never leave us!"
Trudy & Pete Get On The Plane
Whoa! Trudy looks FABULOUS.
Oh god. That is a very small plane...
Don Calls Peggy
I'm still not sure how suicidal he is! Ahhh!! Peggy, grab Stan and jump in the Mystery Machine! It's time to go find Don!
Don Has A Panic Attack
Nothing seems worse than having a panic attack, being in your lowest depressive state, watching the world go on around you, and being trapped at a week-long hippie seminar. This could not have happened at a worst place except...
Just kidding! It could not have happened at a better place because Don gets to realize that he's not the only one who feels the way he does. If he could just have gone to Betty's therapist in the first season instead of not-so-secretly getting reports on everything she talked to the doctor about, this might've all be solved a lot sooner. Or, you know, his cycle of depression and ambition could have still continued as usual and he would end up writing that Coke ad anyway.
Way to not die, everyone!
Images: Justina Mintz/AMC (5); AMC (6); Michael Yarish/AMC (3)