This Is The Sickest Leg Cramp Of All Time, And It Seriously Makes Me Want To Set Fire To Treadmills Everywhere — VIDEO

KABUL, AFGHANISTAN - MARCH 12 : Afghan track star Massoud Azizi, 20, runs along a dirt track on March 12, 2008 in Kabul, Afghanistan. Azizi is one of three Afghan atlhletes already confirmed to compe at the 2008 Beijing Olympics. Massoud is the most celebrated runner in Afghanistan having already competed in the 2004 Athens Olympics and will compete in the 100m and 200m sprints at the up-coming Beijing games. (Photo by Paula Bronstein/Getty Images)
Source: Paula Bronstein/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Exercise is necessary, or so everyone says. I still find it a little weird, however, the way we regularly push our bodies into these frenzied panic modes when I wonder what our ancestors did. Surely they reserved their fastest sprints for when absolutely necessary cases like, say, fleeing from a pack of saber tooth tigers or what-have-you. Running sucks. Although I'm not positive about the exact culprit for what's happening here in this guy's sick leg cramp, but it does not look good.

I remember the first time I experienced a body cramp, but it wasn't the product of any sort of physical exertion (shocking, right?). I was a youth, probably 12 or so, and lotioning my legs after a shower as a good vain child does. I pointed my right foot while applying when some toes went numb and stayed pointed even when I flexed back to normal. It hurt like hell and more than anything else, scared me into thinking my foot would probably fall off my body and to the ground for forever. This did not happen. But it was a worrisome experience and honestly I cannot fathom how the dude in this video continues filming instead of explaining preferred epitaphs to surrounding friends and family. Look at this still, I mean:

IT LOOKS LIKE AN ANGRY FACE. BUT NOT ON A HEAD. IT IS AN ANGRY FACE ON A CALF AND WHYYY. Watch it writhe in its mysterious fury below:

This other calf doozy

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Apparently angry monster babies inhabit athletic people's bodies (mostly legs) with overwhelming regularity. It is a thing you cannot un-see and I personally plan to use it as a legit excuse to continue dodging the gym until further notice. See some particularly gruesome examples I found online:

This arm alien

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I swear I see a tiny nose pocking from beneath the calf skin. ;(

This horrifying calf sequel

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"It's like a ghost!" someone (un)helpfully offers. Although the exact cause of muscle cramps is unknown, they usually flare up when a person exhausted that muscle or is dehydrated.

The end to the calf trilogy

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The music here makes it even more painful to experience secondhand. It also kinda looks like someone is holding a vacuum hose from the other side of this person's skin. Which is more than a little disturbing, to say the least.

These poor unsuspecting toes

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I cannot count one other time in my life that did not involve copious amounts of marijuana in which I laughed so hard while completely alone in my room as much as I did with this video. Probably because it hits home so hard. I don't know, but I thank this person endlessly for uploading it.

Images: Getty Images; vidme

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