'Sex And The City 2' — What If Charlotte Instagramed The Abu Dhabi Trip?
Even hardcore Sex and the City fans will admit that Sex and the City 2 is sort of a mess covered in Chanel, but it's kind of amusing to recognize that the film is already turning five. What's also amusing is that Instagram, coincidentally, was invented a few short months after the release, so if we fudge the dates it's plausible they'd use it to document that train wreck. And if ANYONE was going to take on that challenge, it would without a doubt be the group's pristine prepster, Charlotte York Goldenblatt.
Why Charlotte? Well, in her constant struggles to contact Harry, she would turn to the app to make contact with the outside world. Snapping pictures, sifting through filters, and overall projecting an image of levity and happiness would soothe her anxiety. As a former art dealer, it's purely a joy to go back to her roots and curate this illusion of color, glamour and unparalleled glee. She ALMOST forgets that her hot Irish nanny is probably boinking her husband halfway across the world. Almost.
Without any delay, here are a few things that you'd without a doubt see on Charlotte's Instagram. Not pictured: the cosmopolitan Charlotte made friends with when having her heart-to-heart with Miranda.
1. The Grand Arrival At The Hotel
Wanting to capitalize on the moment they see the luxury suite, Charlotte gets one of the servants to take a picture.
"Is 'servants' politically correct?" Charlotte thinks to herself. "I mean, they ARE our servants, right?" As she's pondering this, Paula Abdul takes the shot. She's not really fond of her face in that picture, but the girls refuse to stay still for another photo, and she REALLY wants to document that outfit.
2. The Camel Ride
She couldn't get in contact with Harry the old fashioned way and that was deeply, deeply soul-crushing. She DID try to get a charming picture of her friends riding the camels, but they were still laughing at her.
3. Unique Middle East Delicacies Through The Eyes Of A Park Avenue Princess
After a day of exotic adventures, Charlotte let her White Girl flag fly high, as she takes an instagram of her friends downing macarons and champagne in designer clothing.
4. Some Throwback Thursdays To Help Harry Remember His Vows
"Sweetie, it wasn't even your wedding," Carrie says, as Charlotte regrams a picture from barely a week ago. She doesn't give a damn, she won't let Harry forget she exists while he's out philandering with that nanny.
5. A Flashback Friday, As An Added Reminder That They Have Family Together
Erin took this one after she found Charlotte crying in the closet. She had yet to change out of that ruined cream vintage Valentino.
6. Karaoke Night, Of Course
What's important is that Charlotte got some poor bellydancer to take pictures of them from every angle. "I want to make a photo collage! Pho-to co-llage!" she enunciates, miming little squares with her hands.
7. A Sloppy Ode To Miranda
She was a little drunk.
Images: HBO/Mary Grace Garis